All Good Things Must Come To An End

This is me 2018. It’s been a year of extreme highs and inevitable lows; growing and birthing a beautiful baby boy has been magical, momentous and equally terrifying!

Motherhood has connected me to a love so profound it scares me how fiercely one can love another human; but parenthood has also brought me to my knees, literally. I’ve been floored both physically and emotionally and some days I’ve barely recognised the woman staring back at me in the mirror.

I’ve been pushed to all of my edges and limits and there have been days when I’ve cracked and broken into a gazillion pieces. Feeling vulnerable is an understatement. Parenting has a way of unearthing all of your unhealed wounds and past traumas. (I highly recommend it, it’s great therapy!)

Yet even in my darkest hours a silent voice has reminded me that I’m also resilient AF, and this woman is by no means shattered beyond repair. In fact, quite the opposite. I’ve earnt my strong Mumma wings and I am spreading them far and wide in 2019 with nothing but love and gratitude for this transformational journey I’m on. I welcome the continuing growth and expansion that’s to come for both myself and my little family.

I gave up on New Years resolutions years ago, but I do like to set a theme for the year and I’m making 2019 my year of TRUST.

I am trusting in myself, I am trusting in my intuition, I am trusting in my worth as a woman, I trust in my capacity to continue to give as a mother, I trust in the goodness of others, I trust that the Universe has our back and is supporting my family regardless of what life throws our way.

And on that note I’m shaking my booty into 2019 with a twinkle in my eye and a heart full of love, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, faith and gratitude for all I have learnt and all I am willing to let go of.

2018, thank you for the lessons. 2019, I am ready!

I will be taking a break for blogging on WordPress but you can find me on Instagram and Facebook by following the links in the sidebar 👉🏻

Dear Dad has been my home for 5 years of writing, but I’ll admit I’ve struggled to maintain my blog since becoming a mother. It doesn’t feel right blogging here when I simply don’t have the time to reciprocate by reading all of your magical blogs.

And so I am taking a break from this platform but will continue to post on my Instagram feed!

I will reserve this space for its original intent, which was, and still is, a place for me to simply say: Dear Dad…

Thank you for being so supportive over the years and for the loving connections I have gained from this sacred space, I love each and every one of you 💖

Love always

Peace out ✌🏻

Hayley xx

Dear Dad

Dear Dad, as I sit here on the Eve of Christmas watching our baby boy play, I can’t help but wish you were here; yet…something in the twinkle of his eye and the curve of his smile tells me you are 💙

I will always love you, I will never forget you… Thank you for being my Dad, my hero, our guiding star 💫

Here’s to those special souls who cannot be with us this Christmas; whose presence, though deeply missed, will be always be felt,

Love always,

Hayley xx

Happiness, A Direction

I was saddened to hear an old school friend recently passed, leaving behind his family and son. I later learned he’d battled with depression. My heart felt heavy.

So many who feel burdened, or that they are a burden on others, feel their only answer is to take matters into their own hands. So many lives lost, so many hurting families are left to pick up the broken pieces. It’s times like this I remember how important my mindfulness and emotional awareness work with children really is. Could depression really be prevented by teaching children self awareness and emotional regulation? I believe so.

How often have you heard, or even repeated this line: “I’ll be happy when… *insert perceived doorway to happiness here*

This is part of the problem we face; feeling powerless and placing our happiness on external events, but happiness is not OUT THERE. Happiness is not a place in the future we have yet to arrive at. It’s in here 👉🏻❤️

Happiness is an inside job, it’s a feeling, a choice, a direction of focus, a decision to be grateful regardless of our circumstances. It’s also an act of self love, a recognition of our own self worth.

Once we realise that possessions and people are not the primary source of our happiness, we can begin to take control of our own peace and joy.

“But my husband makes me happy? My children are a great source of joy…My home brings me peace…” All very true and valid statements, to which I relate to every one. I adore our home for the sanctuary it brings and I love my family unconditionally. They stimulate my joy and happiness all the time. (Notice how I said MY joy.) They awaken the happiness that ALREADY EXISTS within me by their sheer existence and presence in my life. And whilst that means my joy would be severely depleted if ever they were to leave, ultimately, my happiness would still remain, even if a little more dormant. It would be up to me to choose (or not choose) to reawaken my joy.

‘Where our attention goes, energy flows.’

And it’s precisely this flow of energy that drives our experiences and ultimately, our sense of happiness. Some days it’s harder than others, some days we just need to feel all the feels and that’s ok too. Just remember, if those days turn into weeks, months and even years, it’s ALWAYS ok to reach out and ask for help.

Today, may you feel the deep sense of peace within you. May all the people and circumstances you meet stir the infinite well of joy in your soul.

Love always,

Hayley xx

You Are Infinite

Just prior to having my son, I attended a mums and bubs group. A beautiful Mumma was brave enough to share her struggles on becoming a mum. One aspect of motherhood she found particularly challenging was the sudden loss of her identity; no longer was she successful business owner, socialite, spontaneous lover and friend (or so it seemed) – her identity was now: ‘full time mum.’

I’m sure we’ve all identified with this feeling at some stage. When each waking hour (and every sleeping hour for that matter) is spent nursing and caring for your little one, it’s easy to lose sight of the person you once were prior to parenting.

A good friend of mine recently said; “I want to say you’re an amazing mother, but you are so much more than that…”

Her words melted deep into my heart. Without realising, I’d longed to hear those words… she was right. I am so much more than a mother.

I am a woman. I am divine. I am sexy. I am fun. I am a lover, daughter, sister and friend. I am courageous. I am strong. I am resilient. I am determined. I am infinite potential. I am eternal. I am WHOLE. I am love. I am at peace with myself. I am all of that and more and yes, I am a dam good mother too.

Remember, you are a multi dimensional being unbound by names, possessions and identities. You are an untethered force of light and love here to shine bright like the star that you are. 💫

Today, break free from the chains that bind you to names and titles. Embrace all that is you.

Love always,

Hayley xx

A Sailor’s Life For Me

Becoming a mother shook me to my core. I resonated with Mayim Bialik when she said: “I came to parenting the way most of us do — knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.” I soon discovered there was so much conflicting information ‘out there’ that I began to doubt what I instinctively felt was right.

I was, and still am, learning; but the biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that there are no rules to parenting. No one way fits all.

As soon as I began to tune out to the world and tune into my baby; everything just sort of fell into place.

The stress and anxiety and self-doubt subsided and I finally feel like I’m not such a rookie at this parenting business after all. The joyful moments now outweigh the ‘oh f*ck!’ moments and I can safely say “I love being a Mum.” It’s the most natural instinctive feeling in the world. Heart explosions occur as often as poop explosions (and believe me, that’s a lot!) As cliche as it sounds, the love and protection you feel for your child is overwhelmingly profound and no other feeling comes close.

Motherhood is by far the most challenging, magical and wonky journey I have ever voyaged; but if I am to remain cast away at sea without a sail amidst the turbulent adventure that is parenting, then a sailors life is for me.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Timeless

3 months… 12 weeks… 84 days… 288 hours… 17280 minutes… 1036800 seconds… However this precious time spent with you is to be counted, I choose to see it as eternal and forever imprinted in our hearts… 👣❤️

Here’s to sleepless nights and poonami explosions, milky voms and ‘stinky ear’ cuddles, cherished memories and forgotten dishes, endless rocking and dribbly kisses, tantrums, tears and toothless grins and a whole bunch of love, weirdness and belly laughter in between 💝

I’d do it all again for you in a heartbeat baby Kole 💙

Love always xx

Be Bold

Any full time Mummy will agree it can be challenging sneaking a moment to yourself, especially when your family live overseas and your hardworking man works long hours. There’s barely time to eat, poop and shower, let alone build a business.

Whilst time for inspired action and ‘doing’ is somewhat limited, there is plenty of time for dreaming; especially when trapped beneath a tiny Prince for his third nap of the day.

‘Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.’

– Gloria Steinem

I have surrendered to less DOING and more BEING during these precious early months of caring for our son, Kole. As a once immaculate neat freak, this transition hasn’t been easy. But I can now safely say ‘Fuck it!’ if the dishes aren’t done, the house is a shambles and my hair looks like a birds nest.

Being present to Kole’s needs first and foremost feels so much better than striving frantically to live up to Superwoman standards in order to get it all done.

As I dream myself into alignment with my desires, I feel the magic of the unknown rising up in my chest. It feels warm. It feels bold and it feels ALIVE.

This Mummy is not going backwards into the security of her old life, but forward with courage and commitment.

What dreams of yours are stirring within you? Let them brew long enough that they absorb the richness and fullness of Divine flavour, but not so long that they become cold and forgotten…

Today, dream a little longer and trust that your time will come.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Remember…

In the event of loss, setbacks and adversity, it’s easy to lose site of the shore. It takes effort to remain mindful and present to joy when your head is spinning with ‘what if’s’ and ‘if only’s’.

If you’ve found yourself caught in the murky abyss, hold strong. Your first job is only to acknowledge you are there. Tire yourself not with thoughts of how you wound up there and how on Earth you’ll ever get out, simply BE in the abyss and feel all the feels. Honour exactly where you are in this moment.

Trust that you have the power to heal and like anything, this shall pass. Now hand it over to a Higher Power, and let go.

All will be revealed to you in good time if you simply keep faith.

Remember, you are an infinite, unlimited being of light and LOVE. And with love in your heart ANYTHING is possible – even the murkiest of waters can be transcended into crystal clear rivers.

You, my Dear one, are completely unhindered. Place your feet firmly on the earth, arms stretched wide, eyes tilted to the skies, and smile.

Everything will be ok.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Learning To Walk

Our subconscious mind can be our worst enemy, yet it can also be our greatest teacher and ally.

Most of our habits and automatic reactions stem from our subconscious mind. These auto responses are usually triggered when we’re caught off guard.

For this reason, most of us have a negative relationship with our subconscious mind because it seems to keep us stuck in the past, binding us to old worn out beliefs.

But without our subconscious mind we’d be f*cked.

We need auto responses. It’s what enables us to drive a car without too much thought and allows us to walk without thinking.

We couldn’t always walk and drive this way. It took a lot of falling over, stopping and starting and stalling before it became easy. But we got there in the end through practice, patience, perseverance, sheer grit and determination. Why? Because we believed we could.

Our subconscious mind is trained to act out our beliefs.

What beliefs are holding you back and keeping you stuck on replay? Is everyone out to get you? Is money hard to come by? Trust no-one. Nothing comes for free! Life is hard…

Today, make peace with your subconscious. Consider which old, worn out beliefs are standing between you and the life you deserve.

What new beliefs and behaviours can you make part of your present day reality? Now, just like this little girl, ☝🏻 put one foot in front of the other and don’t give up.

Dare to take that first step towards your dreams.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Laugh And Let Live

I couldn’t agree more; parenting without a sense of humour is like a hamburger without the burger… Thankfully, my man and I have enough weirdness between us to rival the entire cast of Spongebob Squarepants 🤪

Humour makes even the toughest of days lighter, and if you aren’t already, I encourage you to add a hefty dose of belly laughter to your daily parenting rounds.

As cliché as it sounds, laughter really is the best medicine. You’re going to need it when your little one poops what resembles butter chicken all down your front for the third time that week💩💩💩 …and spews milky voms into your hair on a daily basis 🥛🤮🙈

What gets you through those tough days? Who’s your banter buddy that makes it all worthwhile?

Love always,

Hayley xx