All Good Things Must Come To An End

This is me 2018. It’s been a year of extreme highs and inevitable lows; growing and birthing a beautiful baby boy has been magical, momentous and equally terrifying!

Motherhood has connected me to a love so profound it scares me how fiercely one can love another human; but parenthood has also brought me to my knees, literally. I’ve been floored both physically and emotionally and some days I’ve barely recognised the woman staring back at me in the mirror.

I’ve been pushed to all of my edges and limits and there have been days when I’ve cracked and broken into a gazillion pieces. Feeling vulnerable is an understatement. Parenting has a way of unearthing all of your unhealed wounds and past traumas. (I highly recommend it, it’s great therapy!)

Yet even in my darkest hours a silent voice has reminded me that I’m also resilient AF, and this woman is by no means shattered beyond repair. In fact, quite the opposite. I’ve earnt my strong Mumma wings and I am spreading them far and wide in 2019 with nothing but love and gratitude for this transformational journey I’m on. I welcome the continuing growth and expansion that’s to come for both myself and my little family.

I gave up on New Years resolutions years ago, but I do like to set a theme for the year and I’m making 2019 my year of TRUST.

I am trusting in myself, I am trusting in my intuition, I am trusting in my worth as a woman, I trust in my capacity to continue to give as a mother, I trust in the goodness of others, I trust that the Universe has our back and is supporting my family regardless of what life throws our way.

And on that note I’m shaking my booty into 2019 with a twinkle in my eye and a heart full of love, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, faith and gratitude for all I have learnt and all I am willing to let go of.

2018, thank you for the lessons. 2019, I am ready!

I will be taking a break for blogging on WordPress but you can find me on Instagram and Facebook by following the links in the sidebar 👉🏻

Dear Dad has been my home for 5 years of writing, but I’ll admit I’ve struggled to maintain my blog since becoming a mother. It doesn’t feel right blogging here when I simply don’t have the time to reciprocate by reading all of your magical blogs.

And so I am taking a break from this platform but will continue to post on my Instagram feed!

I will reserve this space for its original intent, which was, and still is, a place for me to simply say: Dear Dad…

Thank you for being so supportive over the years and for the loving connections I have gained from this sacred space, I love each and every one of you 💖

Love always

Peace out ✌🏻

Hayley xx

Dear Dad

Dear Dad, as I sit here on the Eve of Christmas watching our baby boy play, I can’t help but wish you were here; yet…something in the twinkle of his eye and the curve of his smile tells me you are 💙

I will always love you, I will never forget you… Thank you for being my Dad, my hero, our guiding star 💫

Here’s to those special souls who cannot be with us this Christmas; whose presence, though deeply missed, will be always be felt,

Love always,

Hayley xx

Happiness, A Direction

I was saddened to hear an old school friend recently passed, leaving behind his family and son. I later learned he’d battled with depression. My heart felt heavy.

So many who feel burdened, or that they are a burden on others, feel their only answer is to take matters into their own hands. So many lives lost, so many hurting families are left to pick up the broken pieces. It’s times like this I remember how important my mindfulness and emotional awareness work with children really is. Could depression really be prevented by teaching children self awareness and emotional regulation? I believe so.

How often have you heard, or even repeated this line: “I’ll be happy when… *insert perceived doorway to happiness here*

This is part of the problem we face; feeling powerless and placing our happiness on external events, but happiness is not OUT THERE. Happiness is not a place in the future we have yet to arrive at. It’s in here 👉🏻❤️

Happiness is an inside job, it’s a feeling, a choice, a direction of focus, a decision to be grateful regardless of our circumstances. It’s also an act of self love, a recognition of our own self worth.

Once we realise that possessions and people are not the primary source of our happiness, we can begin to take control of our own peace and joy.

“But my husband makes me happy? My children are a great source of joy…My home brings me peace…” All very true and valid statements, to which I relate to every one. I adore our home for the sanctuary it brings and I love my family unconditionally. They stimulate my joy and happiness all the time. (Notice how I said MY joy.) They awaken the happiness that ALREADY EXISTS within me by their sheer existence and presence in my life. And whilst that means my joy would be severely depleted if ever they were to leave, ultimately, my happiness would still remain, even if a little more dormant. It would be up to me to choose (or not choose) to reawaken my joy.

‘Where our attention goes, energy flows.’

And it’s precisely this flow of energy that drives our experiences and ultimately, our sense of happiness. Some days it’s harder than others, some days we just need to feel all the feels and that’s ok too. Just remember, if those days turn into weeks, months and even years, it’s ALWAYS ok to reach out and ask for help.

Today, may you feel the deep sense of peace within you. May all the people and circumstances you meet stir the infinite well of joy in your soul.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Faith Over Fear

As I journey through this lifetime, an ancient teaching becomes clearer with each passing day; we really only ever have two choices – love, or fear.

All of our choosing, all of our doing, our thinking, our responses, our actions, our REactions and our beliefs are born out of these two choices; love, or fear.

Whenever I’m feeling misaligned from my true self, I can guarantee there’s an underlying fear present; fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of loss, fear of not being ’enough’… fear of being ‘too much’, fear of offending, fear of rocking the boat and yes, even fear of succeeding. We can be fearful of our own greatness and our unique gifts and talents too.

Today, notice any fears bubbling beneath the surface. How do they inform your words, thoughts, deeds and actions? See if you can choose again. What happens when you greet your fears with faith and love?

In my experience, the simple choice to choose love over fear has the power to change the entire trajectory of our experience.

So what will you choose?

Love always,

Hayley xx

Be Bold

Any full time Mummy will agree it can be challenging sneaking a moment to yourself, especially when your family live overseas and your hardworking man works long hours. There’s barely time to eat, poop and shower, let alone build a business.

Whilst time for inspired action and ‘doing’ is somewhat limited, there is plenty of time for dreaming; especially when trapped beneath a tiny Prince for his third nap of the day.

‘Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.’

– Gloria Steinem

I have surrendered to less DOING and more BEING during these precious early months of caring for our son, Kole. As a once immaculate neat freak, this transition hasn’t been easy. But I can now safely say ‘Fuck it!’ if the dishes aren’t done, the house is a shambles and my hair looks like a birds nest.

Being present to Kole’s needs first and foremost feels so much better than striving frantically to live up to Superwoman standards in order to get it all done.

As I dream myself into alignment with my desires, I feel the magic of the unknown rising up in my chest. It feels warm. It feels bold and it feels ALIVE.

This Mummy is not going backwards into the security of her old life, but forward with courage and commitment.

What dreams of yours are stirring within you? Let them brew long enough that they absorb the richness and fullness of Divine flavour, but not so long that they become cold and forgotten…

Today, dream a little longer and trust that your time will come.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Learning To Walk

Our subconscious mind can be our worst enemy, yet it can also be our greatest teacher and ally.

Most of our habits and automatic reactions stem from our subconscious mind. These auto responses are usually triggered when we’re caught off guard.

For this reason, most of us have a negative relationship with our subconscious mind because it seems to keep us stuck in the past, binding us to old worn out beliefs.

But without our subconscious mind we’d be f*cked.

We need auto responses. It’s what enables us to drive a car without too much thought and allows us to walk without thinking.

We couldn’t always walk and drive this way. It took a lot of falling over, stopping and starting and stalling before it became easy. But we got there in the end through practice, patience, perseverance, sheer grit and determination. Why? Because we believed we could.

Our subconscious mind is trained to act out our beliefs.

What beliefs are holding you back and keeping you stuck on replay? Is everyone out to get you? Is money hard to come by? Trust no-one. Nothing comes for free! Life is hard…

Today, make peace with your subconscious. Consider which old, worn out beliefs are standing between you and the life you deserve.

What new beliefs and behaviours can you make part of your present day reality? Now, just like this little girl, ☝🏻 put one foot in front of the other and don’t give up.

Dare to take that first step towards your dreams.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Good Times Hard Times

Nobody wants a fair weathered friend who only shows up when your life is flowing with ease and grace.

We can’t all ride the limo of success and happiness all of the time, but if you have a handful of loyal souls who walk beside you through thick or thin, then consider yourself blessed, for those are the truest of connections worth treasuring.

Be grateful for those willing to ride with you aboard that rickety broken down bus; even when it’s hitting all the pot holes, coming up against roadblock after roadblock and struggling to get over the hill.

Today, express your love and gratitude for the people in your life who remind you that you’re not alone.

Who rides with you through the good times and the bad..?

Love always,

Hayley xx

The Folds And Creases

I am slowly beginning to accept the folds and creases as a normal part of motherhood; whoever says parenting is easy is bullshitting you. Motherhood is magical, but it’s also DEMANDING.

There are days I’m lucky to take a shower before midday, brush my hair or take a pee. Eating is limited to fruit and toast, and I’m often seen sporting two round wet patches where my milk has leaked through my nipple pads. Leaving the house looking like a scarecrow no longer bothers me – I couldn’t give two shits because I’m just grateful I left the house!

I’m in awe of mums who manage to look presentable and hold their shit together, I’m wondering when that day will arrive for me? But I’m also secretly wondering what’s really beneath the Mummy mask… because surely I’m not alone in this?

Today, let us acknowledge our deep, unwavering, profoundly passionate love for our children, but let us also acknowledge the grit it takes to live with the folds and the creases.

This squishy face makes all the sleepless nights worthwhile…

Love always,

Hayley xx

Mothers Milk

Nobody said breastfeeding would be easy… So far my baby and I have experienced the initial breaking in period of cracked nipples, early onset of mastitis, and we are currently navigating an overactive let down which means I drown my son in milk each time we feed! Queue choking, frustrated baby who chomps down on my breasts to slow the flow…

There are times when I feel like giving up, but I know this breastfeeding journey will get easier with time. It’s worth me persevering to provide the best nourishment for my child.

‘Breastfeeding is a Mother’s gift to herself, her baby and the earth’ – Pamela K. Wiggins.

In some ways, breastfeeding prepares us for Motherhood. It is to place another’s needs before our own.

I understand breastfeeding isn’t for everyone, and I have no judgement towards women who choose alternative ways to feed their baby. As a bottle fed baby myself, I respect every woman’s decision as a choice.

For me, that choice has been to nourish my child with what Mother Nature provided. Not simply ‘because it’s free’ (…anyone who says that clearly doesn’t know the time and effort that goes into breastfeeding!) I choose the breast because this is the food that was intended for my baby to help him grow and thrive.

What sacrifices/difficulties/adversities have you experienced on your baby feeding journey? Did you reach a point when it all began to get a little easier?

Love always,

(One curious breastfeeding Mumma)

xx

Tag Team

Raising children isn’t easy – it brings a whole new dynamic to your relationship. As much as we love our little ones, there’s no doubt that when a baby arrives there are parts of your old self and your old relationship you will grieve; the freedom, the spontaneity, the flexibility, the long lazy lay ins together, uninterrupted dinners…

Despite the changes children inevitably bring, the success of your relationship will come down to how committed you are at ‘working together.’

Last night, after a four hour tag team struggle to wind our little one down for his bed time routine, I sobbed into my cold dinner.

Thankfully, my man was there for me reminding me that I’m doing a great job and the best I can.

Who do you have working together with you? Raising little ones requires us to work as a team. If you don’t have your partner around, assemble your team of friends, family, neighbors.

You needn’t do this alone.

But for those of you who ARE working together as a couple, remember that it is precisely this ‘working together’ that will lead to the ongoing success of your relationship and your growing family.

What are your top tips for ‘working together’ for a successful parenting relationship?

Love always,

Hayley xx