The Folds And Creases

I am slowly beginning to accept the folds and creases as a normal part of motherhood; whoever says parenting is easy is bullshitting you. Motherhood is magical, but it’s also DEMANDING.

There are days I’m lucky to take a shower before midday, brush my hair or take a pee. Eating is limited to fruit and toast, and I’m often seen sporting two round wet patches where my milk has leaked through my nipple pads. Leaving the house looking like a scarecrow no longer bothers me – I couldn’t give two shits because I’m just grateful I left the house!

I’m in awe of mums who manage to look presentable and hold their shit together, I’m wondering when that day will arrive for me? But I’m also secretly wondering what’s really beneath the Mummy mask… because surely I’m not alone in this?

Today, let us acknowledge our deep, unwavering, profoundly passionate love for our children, but let us also acknowledge the grit it takes to live with the folds and the creases.

This squishy face makes all the sleepless nights worthwhile…

Love always,

Hayley xx

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Mothers Milk

Nobody said breastfeeding would be easy… So far my baby and I have experienced the initial breaking in period of cracked nipples, early onset of mastitis, and we are currently navigating an overactive let down which means I drown my son in milk each time we feed! Queue choking, frustrated baby who chomps down on my breasts to slow the flow…

There are times when I feel like giving up, but I know this breastfeeding journey will get easier with time. It’s worth me persevering to provide the best nourishment for my child.

‘Breastfeeding is a Mother’s gift to herself, her baby and the earth’ – Pamela K. Wiggins.

In some ways, breastfeeding prepares us for Motherhood. It is to place another’s needs before our own.

I understand breastfeeding isn’t for everyone, and I have no judgement towards women who choose alternative ways to feed their baby. As a bottle fed baby myself, I respect every woman’s decision as a choice.

For me, that choice has been to nourish my child with what Mother Nature provided. Not simply ‘because it’s free’ (…anyone who says that clearly doesn’t know the time and effort that goes into breastfeeding!) I choose the breast because this is the food that was intended for my baby to help him grow and thrive.

What sacrifices/difficulties/adversities have you experienced on your baby feeding journey? Did you reach a point when it all began to get a little easier?

Love always,

(One curious breastfeeding Mumma)

xx

Tag Team

Raising children isn’t easy – it brings a whole new dynamic to your relationship. As much as we love our little ones, there’s no doubt that when a baby arrives there are parts of your old self and your old relationship you will grieve; the freedom, the spontaneity, the flexibility, the long lazy lay ins together, uninterrupted dinners…

Despite the changes children inevitably bring, the success of your relationship will come down to how committed you are at ‘working together.’

Last night, after a four hour tag team struggle to wind our little one down for his bed time routine, I sobbed into my cold dinner.

Thankfully, my man was there for me reminding me that I’m doing a great job and the best I can.

Who do you have working together with you? Raising little ones requires us to work as a team. If you don’t have your partner around, assemble your team of friends, family, neighbors.

You needn’t do this alone.

But for those of you who ARE working together as a couple, remember that it is precisely this ‘working together’ that will lead to the ongoing success of your relationship and your growing family.

What are your top tips for ‘working together’ for a successful parenting relationship?

Love always,

Hayley xx

Baby Blues

‘Baby blues, baby blues, all caught up in those baby blues.’ – The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

This has been my song for the last three days. At first I thought there was something wrong with me. How can I feel so joyful yet so sad at the same time?

Bursting into tears for no apparent reason whilst my heart simultaneously swells with love for this little soul we’ve created is an overwhelming cocktail of emotions.

And then I heard of ‘the baby blues.’ 80% of women will experience the baby blues and it usually passes within 2 to 3 days.

However, if you find you are feeling teary, anxious, and irritable with moods that are up and down for longer than two weeks, reach out for support from friends and family, as well as professionals as you may be experiencing early signs of post natal depression.

Remember to be gentle on yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Giving birth is a huge undertaking on a woman’s body and emotions and now is not the time to berate yourself. You are doing the best you can.

Bad days don’t make you a bad mum, they simply remind you that you are human; not superwoman.

Trust that like anything, in time, it will pass. You’ve got this Mumma!

Love always,

Hayley xx

Mother Nature’s Dance

Dear Mother Nature,

For two days, we danced. You came to me in the early hours of Monday morning, and I leaned into your embrace.

‘I am here to dance

As we have for thousands of years

To a song I’ve never heard, but have danced a million times…’ – Storm Ellyatt

Slow and steady, I swayed to your rhythm, rising to the swell of each surge.

The dance was long and enduring, testing every ounce of our emotional and physical strength.

In the early hours of Wednesday morning you came thicker and faster, your pace more insistent and I could barely catch my breath before I was swept along – no longer in control, but completely surrendered and at the mercy of your power.

And then I heard you whisper in my ear: TRUST.

We danced, we moved, we fell breathless and exhausted, only to begin again this intoxicating euphoric sway of nature.

I stumbled, I rose, I fell again, and just when I thought I could dance no more, I roared my final roar… and then you gave us the gift of our baby boy 💙🌈

Welcome to the world Kole Roy.

Date: 1st Aug 2018

Time: 1:03am

Weight: 9 pounds 3 ounces

You are beautiful in every way. Words cannot express the depth of love we already have for you.

My deepest gratitude for my incredible birth companions, Daddy, Dasha, Michelle and Grandma Lorraine who came along for the dance and remained steady and consistent to each change in tempo.

And for the energetic support of my Divine friends and sisters, you gave me the courage and strength I needed to own my vision of a natural birth. We did it! It wasn’t quite the 3 hour birth I’d envisioned, but it was worth every last little ounce of energy!

We will be opening our arms and hearts to welcome visitors in two weeks time. We appreciate your love and patience in the meantime as we honour this sacred time to bond (and rest!) as a family and for bubs to gently adjust to his strange new world outside of the womb.

Love always,

Hayley, Daley and Kole Roy xxx

The Best You Have To Give

What are you worried about? Where in your life are you avoiding something because of fear?

For a large part of my pregnancy I worried myself silly about labour and unnecessary hospital interventions. I’d heard countless horror stories (and have thankfully discovered tonnes of positive ones since!) and the thought of birth left me terrified.

‘Worry is the number one thief of our time, and has the power to rob you of the beauty of today.’

If you were to let go of your worrying, what beauty could be found in this moment?

Many of us remain safe in our comfort zone because a lot of our fears can be avoided. Unfortunately, birth and death are not one of them.

If you had no choice but to face your fears with courage, what changes would you make today to your mindset? Your spirit? Your HEART?

Don’t waste a moment longer feeling fearful. Acknowledge what you’re scared of, ‘feel the fear and do it anyway.’

Trust that everything will work out for your highest good.

Love Always,

Hayley xx

Emerging Butterflies 🦋

Today, I am quite the caterpillar – slow moving, yet steady, and grateful for the transformation my body is undergoing as it nurtures new life within.

As I reach the end of my pregnancy walking has become a waddle; turning over in bed an Olympic event; and peeing, as regular and frequent as breathing.

I now understand why heavily pregnant women reach a point in late pregnancy when they say; ‘I’m ready.’

Despite feeling ready, I’m savouring these precious last moments of pregnancy, for part of me will grieve the absence of my big round belly; the swish of little hands and feet moving from within… I’d also be lying if I pretended part of me won’t miss my care-free life pre-parenting.

But so much more of me now anticipates the emergence of the beautiful butterfly; the birth of new life, the magical transition from maiden to Mother. Yes – change can be challenging and scary, but I have complete faith in the joyful adventure these colourful new wings will bring 🦋

Love always,

Hayley xx