All Good Things Must Come To An End

This is me 2018. It’s been a year of extreme highs and inevitable lows; growing and birthing a beautiful baby boy has been magical, momentous and equally terrifying!

Motherhood has connected me to a love so profound it scares me how fiercely one can love another human; but parenthood has also brought me to my knees, literally. I’ve been floored both physically and emotionally and some days I’ve barely recognised the woman staring back at me in the mirror.

I’ve been pushed to all of my edges and limits and there have been days when I’ve cracked and broken into a gazillion pieces. Feeling vulnerable is an understatement. Parenting has a way of unearthing all of your unhealed wounds and past traumas. (I highly recommend it, it’s great therapy!)

Yet even in my darkest hours a silent voice has reminded me that I’m also resilient AF, and this woman is by no means shattered beyond repair. In fact, quite the opposite. I’ve earnt my strong Mumma wings and I am spreading them far and wide in 2019 with nothing but love and gratitude for this transformational journey I’m on. I welcome the continuing growth and expansion that’s to come for both myself and my little family.

I gave up on New Years resolutions years ago, but I do like to set a theme for the year and I’m making 2019 my year of TRUST.

I am trusting in myself, I am trusting in my intuition, I am trusting in my worth as a woman, I trust in my capacity to continue to give as a mother, I trust in the goodness of others, I trust that the Universe has our back and is supporting my family regardless of what life throws our way.

And on that note I’m shaking my booty into 2019 with a twinkle in my eye and a heart full of love, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, faith and gratitude for all I have learnt and all I am willing to let go of.

2018, thank you for the lessons. 2019, I am ready!

I will be taking a break for blogging on WordPress but you can find me on Instagram and Facebook by following the links in the sidebar 👉🏻

Dear Dad has been my home for 5 years of writing, but I’ll admit I’ve struggled to maintain my blog since becoming a mother. It doesn’t feel right blogging here when I simply don’t have the time to reciprocate by reading all of your magical blogs.

And so I am taking a break from this platform but will continue to post on my Instagram feed!

I will reserve this space for its original intent, which was, and still is, a place for me to simply say: Dear Dad…

Thank you for being so supportive over the years and for the loving connections I have gained from this sacred space, I love each and every one of you 💖

Love always

Peace out ✌🏻

Hayley xx

Happiness, A Direction

I was saddened to hear an old school friend recently passed, leaving behind his family and son. I later learned he’d battled with depression. My heart felt heavy.

So many who feel burdened, or that they are a burden on others, feel their only answer is to take matters into their own hands. So many lives lost, so many hurting families are left to pick up the broken pieces. It’s times like this I remember how important my mindfulness and emotional awareness work with children really is. Could depression really be prevented by teaching children self awareness and emotional regulation? I believe so.

How often have you heard, or even repeated this line: “I’ll be happy when… *insert perceived doorway to happiness here*

This is part of the problem we face; feeling powerless and placing our happiness on external events, but happiness is not OUT THERE. Happiness is not a place in the future we have yet to arrive at. It’s in here 👉🏻❤️

Happiness is an inside job, it’s a feeling, a choice, a direction of focus, a decision to be grateful regardless of our circumstances. It’s also an act of self love, a recognition of our own self worth.

Once we realise that possessions and people are not the primary source of our happiness, we can begin to take control of our own peace and joy.

“But my husband makes me happy? My children are a great source of joy…My home brings me peace…” All very true and valid statements, to which I relate to every one. I adore our home for the sanctuary it brings and I love my family unconditionally. They stimulate my joy and happiness all the time. (Notice how I said MY joy.) They awaken the happiness that ALREADY EXISTS within me by their sheer existence and presence in my life. And whilst that means my joy would be severely depleted if ever they were to leave, ultimately, my happiness would still remain, even if a little more dormant. It would be up to me to choose (or not choose) to reawaken my joy.

‘Where our attention goes, energy flows.’

And it’s precisely this flow of energy that drives our experiences and ultimately, our sense of happiness. Some days it’s harder than others, some days we just need to feel all the feels and that’s ok too. Just remember, if those days turn into weeks, months and even years, it’s ALWAYS ok to reach out and ask for help.

Today, may you feel the deep sense of peace within you. May all the people and circumstances you meet stir the infinite well of joy in your soul.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Trust Yourself

I think every parent needs to be reminded of this… When I was first flung into the lions den of parenting, I felt like a fish out of water wearing learner plates and training wheels. Sometimes I still do. This was further exasperated by all of the ‘noise’ out there.

My advice? Try not to google everything. Tune out to the world and tune into yourself. Listen only to that which resonates with you and leave all the rest behind.

There is no wrong or right way. Only the right way for you and your family.

‘The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children, the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all.’

– Benjamin Spock

Trust yourself. You know more then you think.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Learning To Walk

Our subconscious mind can be our worst enemy, yet it can also be our greatest teacher and ally.

Most of our habits and automatic reactions stem from our subconscious mind. These auto responses are usually triggered when we’re caught off guard.

For this reason, most of us have a negative relationship with our subconscious mind because it seems to keep us stuck in the past, binding us to old worn out beliefs.

But without our subconscious mind we’d be f*cked.

We need auto responses. It’s what enables us to drive a car without too much thought and allows us to walk without thinking.

We couldn’t always walk and drive this way. It took a lot of falling over, stopping and starting and stalling before it became easy. But we got there in the end through practice, patience, perseverance, sheer grit and determination. Why? Because we believed we could.

Our subconscious mind is trained to act out our beliefs.

What beliefs are holding you back and keeping you stuck on replay? Is everyone out to get you? Is money hard to come by? Trust no-one. Nothing comes for free! Life is hard…

Today, make peace with your subconscious. Consider which old, worn out beliefs are standing between you and the life you deserve.

What new beliefs and behaviours can you make part of your present day reality? Now, just like this little girl, ☝🏻 put one foot in front of the other and don’t give up.

Dare to take that first step towards your dreams.

Love always,

Hayley xx

The Problem Is Not The Problem

As a Mummy who’s nursing a growing baby boy, I see firsthand how constant feeding rapidly increases growth. The same is true of our troubles – the more we feed them, the bigger they grow. ‘Energy flows where attention goes.’ – Michael Beckwith

The more attention we pay to our problems, the bigger our problems become.

This week, as our little one heads into his first growth spurt, we’ve been faced with the challenge of an unsettled baby each night.

In life, and as parents, it’s important to avoid getting too hung up on our troubles and to try to adopt a solution focussed mindset. Even the simple act of ‘letting go’ is far more freeing than trying to ‘fix’ everything and everyone.

Parenting is demanding business and the more we can pull together as a team the more energy we have to share our love and joy with one another.

Difficulties in life are inevitable. If we can learn to welcome adversity, we can trust in our learning and growth.

Today, when faced with a challenging situation, remember: It’s not the problem that’s the problem, but your response and attitude towards the problem.

Love always,

Hayley xx

The Best You Have To Give

What are you worried about? Where in your life are you avoiding something because of fear?

For a large part of my pregnancy I worried myself silly about labour and unnecessary hospital interventions. I’d heard countless horror stories (and have thankfully discovered tonnes of positive ones since!) and the thought of birth left me terrified.

‘Worry is the number one thief of our time, and has the power to rob you of the beauty of today.’

If you were to let go of your worrying, what beauty could be found in this moment?

Many of us remain safe in our comfort zone because a lot of our fears can be avoided. Unfortunately, birth and death are not one of them.

If you had no choice but to face your fears with courage, what changes would you make today to your mindset? Your spirit? Your HEART?

Don’t waste a moment longer feeling fearful. Acknowledge what you’re scared of, ‘feel the fear and do it anyway.’

Trust that everything will work out for your highest good.

Love Always,

Hayley xx

Anything Is Possible

After a day of particularly agonising pelvic floor pains (my own fault for pushing my pregnant body to walk further than was comfortable) I woke this morning feeling very sorry for myself.

‘I feel so limited!’ I heard myself say as I winced with each step. And back to my horizontal position I returned.

I love the way pregnancy forces us to stop and slow down. Natures way of conserving our energy for the big day? I believe so.

As I surrendered to rest, my body thanked me and I took the opportunity to strengthen my mindset instead.

Limiting thoughts of “If I can’t cope with pregnancy discomfort, how on Earth will I cope with labour discomfort?” were promptly pushed aside.

It’s ok to feel vulnerable and yes, it’s even ok to have a little moan. Just as long as we acknowledge that we are only limited by our beliefs.

A few hours later and my pelvic floor has eased. I am feeling more energised and yes, even excited for our impending birth!

Because truly, anything is possible with a little faith and belief.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Soulful Sunday #60: The Other Side Of Fear

Welcome to my fifty-sixth instalment of ‘Soulful Sundays’; a weekly share where I post a roundup of soulful reflections, each including recipes, songs, quotes, blogs I have read and/or any other inspirational discoveries to sooth the soul.

For me, Sunday’s have become a day of quiet contemplation and simple pleasures. A time to reflect on the week gone by and to consider my dreams and intentions for the week ahead.

My hope is to extend some love outward and to share some simple pleasures with anyone who cares to receive them.

Soul Reflections

Fear is debilitating. It can literally leave us paralysed with anxiety.

There is a famous quote (and book for that matter) by Susan Jeffers who reminds us:

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

My biggest work over the last few months has been to face my fears around labour, particularly around the ‘normal’ practice of hospitals whose medical interventions often result in unnecessary trauma for both Mum and baby. Don’t get me wrong, in a medical emergency these procedures can save lives; but in a normal, safe, healthy pregnancy and birth, such interventions often cause more harm than good.  Is it any wonder then, that we hear so many horror stories about birth?

Once my fears were acknowledged, I could then begin to dissolve them. I turned to natural birthing books and absorbed myself in the thousands of positive birth stories (yes – they exist!!!) each contained. The more I read, the more I began to meet women who had birthed naturally, and with less complications (if any) than those who had birthed at the hands of doctors and drugs.

We also decided on Hypno-birthing classes to prepare ourselves for a calm birth using breath work, relaxations, visualisations, strengthening affirmations and natures own pain relief; oxytocin – all of which helped to deepen our confidence and trust in a natural birth.

Whilst our preparations do not guarantee us a smooth, uninterrupted birth with little to no complication or medical intervention; what they do provide us with are the innate tools to birth in love and trust, rather than shrouded in fear.

Of course, there are always some residue fears of the unknown and lingering What if’s? But since the only way out of my birth is through, I must ‘feel the fear and do it anyway.’

The only way out is through.

– Robert Frost

And through we shall go, in love and trust.

Soul Strolls

With three weeks to go until we meet our baby, strolling has become somewhat of a waddle! The pelvic pressure is real haha And so, after finishing my last week of work last Friday, I decided to put my feet up and rest this pregnant body.

I booked in for a pregnancy massage at Endota Spa (which was the best massage I’ve ever had, and I’ve had a lot!) and soaked up the healing vibes. I plan to spend the next three weeks resting and nourishing myself and our baby, and enjoying our last few weeks as a ‘two.’

‘Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.’ – Marcel Proust

Soul Recipes

This recipe is an oldy but a goody of mine. I love using my slow cooker, and this dish lends itself perfectly to one. It’s hearty, it’s comforting, it’s delicious and it’s even healthy My Hearty Lentil Curry gets a thumbs up every time. Let me know what you think!

Yummy lentil curry!

Soul Music

On the other side of fear lies freedom and peace. So today I would love to share this delightfully peaceful track by Ashana titled Deep Peace. Put you feet up, take a deep breath in and receive the deep peace flowing to you. Now sigh and release. You are free. You are safe. You are secure and loved.

Soul Sisters

Today I would love to share this beautifully nourishing poem titled Bliss by Aroused. A timely reminder for us to connect with our intuition within and to trust.

Wrapping you all in a warm loving hug on this soulful Sunday.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Soulful Sunday #52: Slow Down

Welcome to my fifty-second instalment of ‘Soulful Sundays’; a weekly share where I post a roundup of soulful reflections, each including recipes, songs, quotes, blogs I have read and/or any other inspirational discoveries to sooth the soul.

For me, Sunday’s have become a day of quiet contemplation and simple pleasures. A time to reflect on the week gone by and to consider my hopes and dreams for the week ahead.

My hope is to extend some love outward and to share some simple pleasures with anyone who cares to receive them.

Soul Reflections

As I move deeper into my Third trimester, if there’s one thing pregnancy is really teaching me, it is to SLOW DOWN. As Lao Tzu so profoundly reminds us:

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.

– Lao Tzu

It’s so easy to become caught in the lists of ‘To Do’s’ and ‘musts’ and ‘shoulds’ when we live in a society governed by time. But when we let go of the need to ‘hurry’ – time expands. It is from this expansive space that our actions become inspired, rather than ruled by frantic doing.

As we move into a new week, I encourage you to slow down and tune in. Notice if your actions become more purposeful (and pleasurable) as a result.

Soul Strolls

Walking has been my favourite form of exercise during pregnancy, along with yoga. But having recently moved house to an unfamiliar area, my daily walk came to a screeching halt. For a whole month!

And boy did I feel it; physically AND emotionally.

You see, walking doesn’t just keep me fit and active, walking INVIGORATES me. It brings me new perspective and fresh insight, allowing me to step away from the daily grind to just appreciate, breathe and BE.

As I move closer and closer to my due date, it’s my hope to go slow and steady, just like nature. To trust that everything will fall into place, with little need for ‘hurry’.

Where in your life can you embrace the power of nature and SLOW DOWN, trusting that all will be accomplished at the right time?

Soul Food

Soul food for me this Sunday was a simple cook up with my man. Naughty, but nice. Life is about balance, and you can’t beat a good old fashioned breakfast of hashbrowns and scrambled eggs whilst listening to some country music! Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that bring us the most pleasure.

Stapleton and scrambled eggs – yum!

Soul Music

Since Chris Stapleton’s velvety tones soothed our souls over breakfast this morning, it seems appropriate to share one of his many incredible tracks. One of our favourite songs reminds us that love is the most potent of riches, and it is with this song I wish you a millionaire of love.

Soul Connections

I’d love to share this simplistic yet profound poem titled Sip Your Coffee Nice and Slow  by Kamal at Boundless Blessings.

Head on over for a nice, heartwarming reminder to enjoy the slow.

Wishing you a slow, soulful Sunday filled with love and simple riches.

Love Always,

Hayley xx

Sacred Home

Pregnancy has certainly brought with it many physical and emotional challenges; some which have been easier to embrace than others! It’s been a constant journey of reconnecting with myself and the life-force within to fully appreciate and accept all the changes my body must undergo to create and birth this precious new life.

I can’t stress enough the importance of caring for our emotional and physical wellbeing during this delicate transition. This is something I’ve had to remind myself daily.

There have been days and weeks when my health has been at it’s optimal, and days when I’ve opted to skip my self-care practice and nourishment to reach for that comforting treat.

The key here is to monitor your self-talk and remember to be BE KIND. Be mindful of how you talk to yourself. Your body listens!!!! So no berating or self-judgment please ladies…

But just as your body listens, your body talks.

Are you listening to your body and what it needs? Rest, fresh air, movement, nourishment, gentle caresses and positive-self-talk?

There is no better time than the present to love and care for your body, your sacred home 🙏🏻 So what are you waiting for?

Love always,

Hayley xx