Becoming a mother shook me to my core. I resonated with Mayim Bialik when she said: “I came to parenting the way most of us do — knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.” I soon discovered there was so much conflicting information ‘out there’ that I began to doubt what I instinctively felt was right.
I was, and still am, learning; but the biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that there are no rules to parenting. No one way fits all.
As soon as I began to tune out to the world and tune into my baby; everything just sort of fell into place.
The stress and anxiety and self-doubt subsided and I finally feel like I’m not such a rookie at this parenting business after all. The joyful moments now outweigh the ‘oh f*ck!’ moments and I can safely say “I love being a Mum.” It’s the most natural instinctive feeling in the world. Heart explosions occur as often as poop explosions (and believe me, that’s a lot!) As cliche as it sounds, the love and protection you feel for your child is overwhelmingly profound and no other feeling comes close.
Motherhood is by far the most challenging, magical and wonky journey I have ever voyaged; but if I am to remain cast away at sea without a sail amidst the turbulent adventure that is parenting, then a sailors life is for me.
3 months… 12 weeks… 84 days… 288 hours… 17280 minutes… 1036800 seconds… However this precious time spent with you is to be counted, I choose to see it as eternal and forever imprinted in our hearts… 👣❤️
Here’s to sleepless nights and poonami explosions, milky voms and ‘stinky ear’ cuddles, cherished memories and forgotten dishes, endless rocking and dribbly kisses, tantrums, tears and toothless grins and a whole bunch of love, weirdness and belly laughter in between 💝
I’d do it all again for you in a heartbeat baby Kole 💙
I think every parent needs to be reminded of this… When I was first flung into the lions den of parenting, I felt like a fish out of water wearing learner plates and training wheels. Sometimes I still do. This was further exasperated by all of the ‘noise’ out there.
My advice? Try not to google everything. Tune out to the world and tune into yourself. Listen only to that which resonates with you and leave all the rest behind.
There is no wrong or right way. Only the right way for you and your family.
‘The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children, the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all.’
Nobody wants a fair weathered friend who only shows up when your life is flowing with ease and grace.
We can’t all ride the limo of success and happiness all of the time, but if you have a handful of loyal souls who walk beside you through thick or thin, then consider yourself blessed, for those are the truest of connections worth treasuring.
Be grateful for those willing to ride with you aboard that rickety broken down bus; even when it’s hitting all the pot holes, coming up against roadblock after roadblock and struggling to get over the hill.
Today, express your love and gratitude for the people in your life who remind you that you’re not alone.
Who rides with you through the good times and the bad..?
I couldn’t agree more; parenting without a sense of humour is like a hamburger without the burger… Thankfully, my man and I have enough weirdness between us to rival the entire cast of Spongebob Squarepants 🤪
Humour makes even the toughest of days lighter, and if you aren’t already, I encourage you to add a hefty dose of belly laughter to your daily parenting rounds.
As cliché as it sounds, laughter really is the best medicine. You’re going to need it when your little one poops what resembles butter chicken all down your front for the third time that week💩💩💩 …and spews milky voms into your hair on a daily basis 🥛🤮🙈
What gets you through those tough days? Who’s your banter buddy that makes it all worthwhile?
One thing I am learning on this crazy parenting ride is that motherhood is a huge lesson in trust, acceptance and surrender; because there really is no such thing as perfect parenting.
Each day I’m turning new corners as I slowly embrace and accept all that is perfectly imperfect about mumming…
…From having to change and bath my baby boy twice within half an hour of waking (the poop explosions are real 💩💩😳) to having to turn back home just minutes from leaving my doorstep due to hysterical crying two days in a row (my little darling has suddenly decided he prefers being rocked to sleep in my arms during his afternoon nap over being walked to sleep in his stroller…) Bye bye nature walks, Mummy!! 👋🏻🌳😫
As defeating as these moments can feel, it’s impossible to remain frustrated for long… especially when I look at Kole’s tiny little face.
I am so very blessed.
A perfect Mum, I am not – but a good one? Yes I am. I love this tiny soul with every ounce of my being 💙🌈 And if that means giving up my afternoon walks for cuddles, then I surrender… 🤗
What else makes me a good Mum? Laughing after my son spits up milk all down my chest – only to see him chuckling (for the first time ever) right back at me with a mouth full of milk 🙌🏻🥛🤣
What is one of the million ways you are a good Mum? It’s time to acknowledge your superpowers!
There’s no doubt that parenting can be lonely business and often the days can seem long and repetitive. But the dichotomy is that I also never want these days to end… Why? Because there is SO much magic in the seemingly mundane, enough to turn even the longest and loneliest of days into my greatest source of joy.
For me, it’s in my morning conversations with Kole; it’s gazing into his eyes and seeing the future in them; it’s studying his ever changing expressions and realising an hour has passed by; it’s feeling his tiny breaths kissing my skin; it’s noticing his crying soften and his tense body relax the moment I hold him close to my heart… If it wasn’t for these moments of magic in our day, parenting would undoubtedly turn us all insane.
But thankfully, ‘sometimes the smallest moments take up the most room in your heart.’ Today, look for the magic. It’s there.
What are the small moments that take up the most room in your heart?
Nobody said breastfeeding would be easy… So far my baby and I have experienced the initial breaking in period of cracked nipples, early onset of mastitis, and we are currently navigating an overactive let down which means I drown my son in milk each time we feed! Queue choking, frustrated baby who chomps down on my breasts to slow the flow…
There are times when I feel like giving up, but I know this breastfeeding journey will get easier with time. It’s worth me persevering to provide the best nourishment for my child.
‘Breastfeeding is a Mother’s gift to herself, her baby and the earth’ – Pamela K. Wiggins.
In some ways, breastfeeding prepares us for Motherhood. It is to place another’s needs before our own.
I understand breastfeeding isn’t for everyone, and I have no judgement towards women who choose alternative ways to feed their baby. As a bottle fed baby myself, I respect every woman’s decision as a choice.
For me, that choice has been to nourish my child with what Mother Nature provided. Not simply ‘because it’s free’ (…anyone who says that clearly doesn’t know the time and effort that goes into breastfeeding!) I choose the breast because this is the food that was intended for my baby to help him grow and thrive.
What sacrifices/difficulties/adversities have you experienced on your baby feeding journey? Did you reach a point when it all began to get a little easier?
Raising children isn’t easy – it brings a whole new dynamic to your relationship. As much as we love our little ones, there’s no doubt that when a baby arrives there are parts of your old self and your old relationship you will grieve; the freedom, the spontaneity, the flexibility, the long lazy lay ins together, uninterrupted dinners…
Despite the changes children inevitably bring, the success of your relationship will come down to how committed you are at ‘working together.’
Last night, after a four hour tag team struggle to wind our little one down for his bed time routine, I sobbed into my cold dinner.
Thankfully, my man was there for me reminding me that I’m doing a great job and the best I can.
Who do you have working together with you? Raising little ones requires us to work as a team. If you don’t have your partner around, assemble your team of friends, family, neighbors.
You needn’t do this alone.
But for those of you who ARE working together as a couple, remember that it is precisely this ‘working together’ that will lead to the ongoing success of your relationship and your growing family.
What are your top tips for ‘working together’ for a successful parenting relationship?