Heart’s Whispers

Capture your heart (1)
We have been socially conditioned to believe that success and fulfilment are directly related to money, fame, recognition, social status, the perfect partner, fast cars and expensive suits. We find ourselves pursuing other peoples perceptions of what it means to be successful, only to discover that we still feel a deep sense of lack in our lives.

If we take a moment to listen to our souls truth, to let go of the need to ‘keep up’, we remember that true happiness resides, not in possessions, but in our hearts – in the things that matter the most; friends, family, love, joy, connection, creativity, simple pleasures, cherished moments…

Today, let go of the need to acquire more. Remember, the simplest matters of our hearts often lead to a truly abundant life.

In love & light,

Hayley xx

Eternal Bond

never truly lost

Forever Young you shall be. Forever in our hearts you shall remain. I wrote this song for you a few years ago and my good friends Samuel Jones, Ben Jones, and Christopher Roach breathed eternal life into it… And for that I am forever grateful.

Happy 60th birthday Dad xx

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So short lived were my chocolate raisin days
The only thing I have now are the memories of your ways
No more bear hugs, no more Match Box cars today
I’m holding on tight cause this doesn’t feel right
Don’t let this slip away
 
Cause I will never forget you
Your with me in everything I do
My smiles a reflection of you
I live my life through you because it’s all I can do
Your my parachute
 
Your brief time here, it was rocky it was rough
Never said you were giving up, my gentle giant was too tough
No need for fast cars, brief cases or expensive suits
Your love was just enough and your love was all for us
Don’t let this slip away
 
Your descent upon this material world
It was oh so brief, I was left in disbelief
I had to stop being Daddy’s girl
Your courage was reborn deep in my heart
The realisation that from you I shall never part
I’m letting go because I know I must grow
But you’ll always remain forever young
 
Cause I will never forget you
Your with me in everything I do
My smiles a reflection of you
I live my life through you because it’s all I can do
Your my parachute
 
My king of hearts has flown
But I’m willing to take the thrown
To your legacy I live
And I’ll give as you’d give
 
My parachute. My strength. My breath, my parachute. The reason I’m living so free…
 

The Gift of Sight

two gifts
When I said goodbye to Dad for the last time, there’s one lesson I learnt – life is fleeting.

With the recent terrorist attacks in Manchester and London, along with the many other lives lost each day around the globe, we are reminded to hug our loved ones.

Forgive quickly, love passionately, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is too precious, too fragile, too fleeting to hold grudges, to love cautiously and to squander our days dreaming instead of doing.

Be willing to let go. Don’t be afraid to say “I love you…” you never know when it will be your last. See life for what it is, a gift. Live courageously. Laugh often (and loudly!) Spread joy. Be the untethered force of light that you are. There’s no need to live every day like it is your last… Choose instead, to live every day like it is your first… With a sense of childlike wonder, rapture and appreciation. Give thanks for the two gifts that you opened today – your eyes.

For today is another day you get to live.

In love & light,

Hayley xx

I Love You Because…


It’s been 12 years today since my bear hugs were taken away… There aren’t enough words in the dictionary to capture how greatly you are missed. But on this day I’d like to remind you of how much you are loved…

Dad, I love you because…

…you would walk us around on your feet as little girls.

…you would shine a spotlight on us as we danced around the living room.

…you never complained about your stroke or your epilepsy, even though the seizures frightened you.

…you made us smile and laugh daily with your unpredictable humour.

…you were the most selfless human being I’ve ever met and would spend your last £5 on chocolate raisins, Beano magazines and Matchbox cars for us.

…you lived with 3 feisty females and never lashed out physically or verbally once – you’d always walk away when angry.

…you gave the best bear hugs ever.

…you cared and worried about our safety.

…you surprised us with cups of teas and Garfield The Cat inspired butties in the mornings and always made them with a smile.

…you weren’t afraid to show your emotions.

Because of a million other reasons I never had the chance to say to you – but mostly, because you’re my Dad…

My love for you is infinitely endless. I love and miss you so so much. Thank you for being my guide.

Loving you always – forgetting you never 💙 xx

Soulful Sunday #26: Be You

be the type of person

Welcome to my twenty-sixth instalment of ‘Soulful Sundays’. A weekly share where I post a roundup of soulful reflections, each including recipes, songs, quotes, blogs I have read and/or any other inspirational discoveries to sooth the soul.

For me, Sunday’s have become a day of quiet contemplation and simple pleasures. A time to reflect on the week gone by and to consider my hopes and dreams for the week ahead.

My hope is to extend some love outward and to share some simple pleasures with anyone who cares to receive them.

Soul Reflections

When I contemplate the friendships I have remained closest to over the years, the ones that have been a constant presence in my life – I have discovered they each possess a quality rarely found in everyone we meet. Besides love and trust, what is the special glue that binds two souls together?  The vital ingredient that allows you to feel at ease in another’s company? Acceptance. Acceptance says; “It is safe for you to be vulnerable in my presence. It is safe for you to be you.”

Those friendships of mine have stood the test of time because they have accepted me for who I am, nothing more and nothing less. Nothing is expected of me, and nothing is taken for granted. Their only wish is that I be myself, in all my wonky glory. We have laughed together until our bellies hurt and our eyebrows feel like they’re about to merge into our hairlines! We have cried rivers of tears in front of each other, have listened without judgement to one another’s deepest despairs, and have shared our most personal dreams and wishes. Our love, trust and acceptance afforded us the ability to say: “Your heart is safe with me.”

Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful and magical person that you are.

– Mandy Hale

We each have our irks and quirks. That is what makes life so colourful. It’s what prevents life from becoming too uniformed, too grey, too dull. So what if your ears stick out, if your bum jiggles when you walk or you snort like a pig when you laugh?! Life is tough enough without having to conform to the ideals of how others say we should be, think, speak and act. Go easy on yourself. Allow yourself the freedom to be you. As long as you aren’t causing hurt or upset to anyone; be the unapologetic, unequivocally amazing person that you are!

Soul Strolls

Since moving house, I am truly missing having a good park in walking distance to where I live. I have taken to the neighbourhood and have been walking up and down the quieter streets, and today I went in search of a local park. I found one about 25 minutes from my house, which was mostly a cemetery beside an oval. Within moments, a man in his fifties asked me if I’d go on a date with him! Taken aback, I told him I already have a boyfriend, to which he replied “I’ll kiss you!” I left promptly afterwards. The search for a good park continues! hehe I did manage to capture this pretty wee thing on the way home!

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Soul Food

I have been under the weather for the best part of two weeks. What started as a sore throat soon escalated into a chest infection when I refused to listen to my body and continued to work despite needing obvious rest! My friend and fellow blogger Miriam who blogs at Out an’ About suggested I eat bone broth! Thankfully, I’m already on the mend – but next time I am ill I will be sure to try one. I managed to find a good bone broth recipe on my favourite health and wellness websites here. (Just in case you get a case of the sniffles!)

bone broth

Soul Music

I would like to share So True by The Black Seeds today. It’s a lovely track which shows that when we are true, and trust in others, we get and give the best of ourselves.


Soul Sisters

Today, I am sharing a post titled ‘Change Your Attitude’ by Bernice at SpiritualJourney17. It reminds me of a lesson I taught to my children about replacing the ANTS (Automatic Negaive Talk) in our heads with PETS (Positive Eotional Talk). Head over for a read!

Wishing you a Sunday where you are free to be you, in all of your wonky glory!

In love & light,

Hayley xx

Self-care Is Essential.

self-care
It can be difficult to say ‘no’ at times, but learning to nourish and replenish yourself can be the difference between giving others the best of you as opposed to the rest of you. If we don’t take time to rejuvenate from time to time, we will have nothing left to offer. We cannot give from an empty cup. Today I am bringing you a gentle reminder to show yourself some self-care and compassion. If your well has run dry, now is the time to fill it. It isn’t selfish, it is essential. 

You may want to run yourself a hot bath with some scented oils and candles, or give yourself permission to put your feet up and read a great book. Why not watch your favourite comedy in your pyjamas and give yourself the gift of laughter? Go for a sunset stroll and breathe some fresh air into your lungs – nature has healing qualities. Maybe you could cook a delicious dinner and pour yourself a glass of wine or a hot mug of tea? Whatever you decide to do, know that when you listen to your body’s needs and treat yourself with love and kindness, you will have much more to give. You are no use to anyone stressed, tired and grumpy.

Today, say ‘yes’ to you. Fill your cup first so it can over-spill and flow to others. Your friends and family will thank you for it.

In love and light,

Hayley xx

Letters to Heaven

Day 8, Reinvent the letter format

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The day I was born

Dear Dad,

When I remember that you are gone, I am bathed in a deep sadness that overwhelms and consumes me. When I think of our brief time together, I feel immense gratitude to have known you as my father – yet utter despair that life’s brevity escaped me so suddenly and without warning. In my head, I replay the times I was a typical teenager – rushed, preoccupied by my own selfish adolescence, nonchalant, hot-tempered… I wish I could travel back in time, to tell you again and again how much I love you; how much you meant to me, how you were, and still are, the most incredible man I have ever known.

As a little girl, my fondest memories are of times spent with you. It was you who’d walk me around on your feet, you’d give me twizers and aeroplanes and lift me up by my ankles each time I squealed “Again! Again!” Nobody else would spend hours lining up my toy soldiers, only to knock them all down again with ping pong balls. (You imitated the best ‘man-wounded-and-falling-from-a great-height’ impression I’d ever heard!) Despite recovering from a stroke and living with epilepsy, you cared for your daughters dutifully whilst Mum was at work…

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Sarah, Dad and me

It’s hard to believe that beneath your smiles and laughter, you felt sorrow. The doctors diagnosed you with depression, but at the time, I was too young to notice. Upon reflection, it’s no wonder why you felt immense sadness given the hardships you faced as a young man; you lost both your parents; suffered a brain hemorrhage in your twenties; and lived your life with epilepsy. Yet, in spite of all of this, you showed nothing but love towards your family, in sickness and in health. Our favorite memory is of the times we’d air guitar in the living room using Mum’s badminton rackets. We’d danced our socks off to The Police, Prince and Led Zeppelin, you would shine the lamp at our feet and bathe us in a spot light – you even taught us how to head bang! I miss those days so much…

And then Mum met somebody new. One day you were there, and the next you were living in a one bedroom flat. My world became empty and bleak, I didn’t know why you had to leave, only that our family of four suddenly became a family of three. You visited twice a week, on Wednesdays and Saturdays, but the days in between felt like a life time of waiting. I’d wait at the gate, waiting to see your face as you’d begin your steady ascent up the hill, your pockets laden with chocolate raisins for Sarah and I, and a Walnut Whip for Mum. You’d also buy me a Matchbox car each week, which I treasured as much as I treasured our make believe drives along the open roads.

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When we were a family of four celebrating my 1st birthday

Living without you brought with it a heartbreak that my little heart wasn’t prepared for, and I longed for you to return to our house, safe under our roof. I hated the thought of you living all alone. I knew of your seizures, I’d witnessed them from an early age. The thought of you all alone made me anxious and worrisome throughout much of my childhood. I remember the days we’d collect you if it was raining heavy, the Rottweiler belonging to the tenant below would bark and snarl from behind the rickety gate. My heart would thump in my chest as we sat in the car, panicked that the ugly mutt would jump over the gate and eat you as you went by. Fears of losing you for good began to plague my sleep, I’d have nightmares that we’d become separated and I could never quite reach you; searching, always searching, until I’d wake with tears streaming down my cheeks.

Life continued much this way into my teens. Your weekly visits remained the highlight of my week. At night, we’d fall asleep listening to Coldplay, Bob Dylan and Maroon 5, you in the bottom bunk, and me in the top bunk, it was funny watching you cram your six foot two self into those tiny bunk beds. But you didn’t mind if it meant spending time with your family.

You never stopped caring for us. You nursed me when I was ill, you even carried me to bed when I drank so much Vodka with Louise that time – I was sick all over the bathroom! You hugged me when I cried, made me laugh when I was glum, and stuck up for me if anyone ever caused me upset. You brought us cups of teas and made the best (and most random) sandwich combinations ever. Your kind gestures, the way you loved us unconditionally, the way you still loved Mum and remained her faithful companion despite her decision to separate, all of those things are what made you so very special. When Lauren was born, as you held her in your arms you told her you’d love her as though she were your own, and you did until the day that you died.

7

When I lost you the second time, it felt as though someone had snatched my heart from inside my chest and replaced it with a heavy boulder. You were taken before I had the chance to say goodbye, before I could tell you how much I loved you, how much I appreciated you in my life. The thought of never seeing your face again, never feeling the warmth of your bear hugs, left me dazed and confused. Even now, ten years later, the thought of spending a lifetime without you leaves me feeling empty and numb. When I feel this way, I make a conscious effort to remember how you lived your life – smiling in the face of adversity.

And that is how I shall live mine. For every one thing that makes me feel sad, I will think of ten things that bring me joy. I will never forget the way you’d burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter, which spread like wildfire throughout our home. How can I? It happens to me at the most inappropriate of times, in a silent classroom, when I’m having my teeth polished at the dentist! Your infectious laughter is remembered by all of my friends who visited, and they talk of you with much fondness. You will always be remembered as our gentle giant. Your size thirteens were destined to leave lasting footprints in our hearts. And so, it is in your memory that I will continue to bathe the darkness with your love and light each day.

A medium once told me that you now reside in the highest of the spiritual planes. That the life lessons you faced on this earth, as well as your selfless nature, progressed you far into the high heavens. It is no wonder heaven claimed you early – to me, you were an earth angel; my very own angel Dad.

I feel blessed to have known you, to have shared my life with you, to have had you as my father. And however lonely it feels at times, I know that you will always be there for me, guiding me, surrounding me with your love.

I love you, Dad.

Loving you always, forgetting you never ❤

Hayley xx

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Me and Dad