All Good Things Must Come To An End

This is me 2018. It’s been a year of extreme highs and inevitable lows; growing and birthing a beautiful baby boy has been magical, momentous and equally terrifying!

Motherhood has connected me to a love so profound it scares me how fiercely one can love another human; but parenthood has also brought me to my knees, literally. I’ve been floored both physically and emotionally and some days I’ve barely recognised the woman staring back at me in the mirror.

I’ve been pushed to all of my edges and limits and there have been days when I’ve cracked and broken into a gazillion pieces. Feeling vulnerable is an understatement. Parenting has a way of unearthing all of your unhealed wounds and past traumas. (I highly recommend it, it’s great therapy!)

Yet even in my darkest hours a silent voice has reminded me that I’m also resilient AF, and this woman is by no means shattered beyond repair. In fact, quite the opposite. I’ve earnt my strong Mumma wings and I am spreading them far and wide in 2019 with nothing but love and gratitude for this transformational journey I’m on. I welcome the continuing growth and expansion that’s to come for both myself and my little family.

I gave up on New Years resolutions years ago, but I do like to set a theme for the year and I’m making 2019 my year of TRUST.

I am trusting in myself, I am trusting in my intuition, I am trusting in my worth as a woman, I trust in my capacity to continue to give as a mother, I trust in the goodness of others, I trust that the Universe has our back and is supporting my family regardless of what life throws our way.

And on that note I’m shaking my booty into 2019 with a twinkle in my eye and a heart full of love, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, faith and gratitude for all I have learnt and all I am willing to let go of.

2018, thank you for the lessons. 2019, I am ready!

I will be taking a break for blogging on WordPress but you can find me on Instagram and Facebook by following the links in the sidebar 👉🏻

Dear Dad has been my home for 5 years of writing, but I’ll admit I’ve struggled to maintain my blog since becoming a mother. It doesn’t feel right blogging here when I simply don’t have the time to reciprocate by reading all of your magical blogs.

And so I am taking a break from this platform but will continue to post on my Instagram feed!

I will reserve this space for its original intent, which was, and still is, a place for me to simply say: Dear Dad…

Thank you for being so supportive over the years and for the loving connections I have gained from this sacred space, I love each and every one of you 💖

Love always

Peace out ✌🏻

Hayley xx

Dear Dad

Dear Dad, as I sit here on the Eve of Christmas watching our baby boy play, I can’t help but wish you were here; yet…something in the twinkle of his eye and the curve of his smile tells me you are 💙

I will always love you, I will never forget you… Thank you for being my Dad, my hero, our guiding star 💫

Here’s to those special souls who cannot be with us this Christmas; whose presence, though deeply missed, will be always be felt,

Love always,

Hayley xx

Happiness, A Direction

I was saddened to hear an old school friend recently passed, leaving behind his family and son. I later learned he’d battled with depression. My heart felt heavy.

So many who feel burdened, or that they are a burden on others, feel their only answer is to take matters into their own hands. So many lives lost, so many hurting families are left to pick up the broken pieces. It’s times like this I remember how important my mindfulness and emotional awareness work with children really is. Could depression really be prevented by teaching children self awareness and emotional regulation? I believe so.

How often have you heard, or even repeated this line: “I’ll be happy when… *insert perceived doorway to happiness here*

This is part of the problem we face; feeling powerless and placing our happiness on external events, but happiness is not OUT THERE. Happiness is not a place in the future we have yet to arrive at. It’s in here 👉🏻❤️

Happiness is an inside job, it’s a feeling, a choice, a direction of focus, a decision to be grateful regardless of our circumstances. It’s also an act of self love, a recognition of our own self worth.

Once we realise that possessions and people are not the primary source of our happiness, we can begin to take control of our own peace and joy.

“But my husband makes me happy? My children are a great source of joy…My home brings me peace…” All very true and valid statements, to which I relate to every one. I adore our home for the sanctuary it brings and I love my family unconditionally. They stimulate my joy and happiness all the time. (Notice how I said MY joy.) They awaken the happiness that ALREADY EXISTS within me by their sheer existence and presence in my life. And whilst that means my joy would be severely depleted if ever they were to leave, ultimately, my happiness would still remain, even if a little more dormant. It would be up to me to choose (or not choose) to reawaken my joy.

‘Where our attention goes, energy flows.’

And it’s precisely this flow of energy that drives our experiences and ultimately, our sense of happiness. Some days it’s harder than others, some days we just need to feel all the feels and that’s ok too. Just remember, if those days turn into weeks, months and even years, it’s ALWAYS ok to reach out and ask for help.

Today, may you feel the deep sense of peace within you. May all the people and circumstances you meet stir the infinite well of joy in your soul.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Timeless

3 months… 12 weeks… 84 days… 288 hours… 17280 minutes… 1036800 seconds… However this precious time spent with you is to be counted, I choose to see it as eternal and forever imprinted in our hearts… 👣❤️

Here’s to sleepless nights and poonami explosions, milky voms and ‘stinky ear’ cuddles, cherished memories and forgotten dishes, endless rocking and dribbly kisses, tantrums, tears and toothless grins and a whole bunch of love, weirdness and belly laughter in between 💝

I’d do it all again for you in a heartbeat baby Kole 💙

Love always xx

Trust Yourself

I think every parent needs to be reminded of this… When I was first flung into the lions den of parenting, I felt like a fish out of water wearing learner plates and training wheels. Sometimes I still do. This was further exasperated by all of the ‘noise’ out there.

My advice? Try not to google everything. Tune out to the world and tune into yourself. Listen only to that which resonates with you and leave all the rest behind.

There is no wrong or right way. Only the right way for you and your family.

‘The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children, the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all.’

– Benjamin Spock

Trust yourself. You know more then you think.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Learning To Walk

Our subconscious mind can be our worst enemy, yet it can also be our greatest teacher and ally.

Most of our habits and automatic reactions stem from our subconscious mind. These auto responses are usually triggered when we’re caught off guard.

For this reason, most of us have a negative relationship with our subconscious mind because it seems to keep us stuck in the past, binding us to old worn out beliefs.

But without our subconscious mind we’d be f*cked.

We need auto responses. It’s what enables us to drive a car without too much thought and allows us to walk without thinking.

We couldn’t always walk and drive this way. It took a lot of falling over, stopping and starting and stalling before it became easy. But we got there in the end through practice, patience, perseverance, sheer grit and determination. Why? Because we believed we could.

Our subconscious mind is trained to act out our beliefs.

What beliefs are holding you back and keeping you stuck on replay? Is everyone out to get you? Is money hard to come by? Trust no-one. Nothing comes for free! Life is hard…

Today, make peace with your subconscious. Consider which old, worn out beliefs are standing between you and the life you deserve.

What new beliefs and behaviours can you make part of your present day reality? Now, just like this little girl, ☝🏻 put one foot in front of the other and don’t give up.

Dare to take that first step towards your dreams.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Good Times Hard Times

Nobody wants a fair weathered friend who only shows up when your life is flowing with ease and grace.

We can’t all ride the limo of success and happiness all of the time, but if you have a handful of loyal souls who walk beside you through thick or thin, then consider yourself blessed, for those are the truest of connections worth treasuring.

Be grateful for those willing to ride with you aboard that rickety broken down bus; even when it’s hitting all the pot holes, coming up against roadblock after roadblock and struggling to get over the hill.

Today, express your love and gratitude for the people in your life who remind you that you’re not alone.

Who rides with you through the good times and the bad..?

Love always,

Hayley xx

Laugh And Let Live

I couldn’t agree more; parenting without a sense of humour is like a hamburger without the burger… Thankfully, my man and I have enough weirdness between us to rival the entire cast of Spongebob Squarepants 🤪

Humour makes even the toughest of days lighter, and if you aren’t already, I encourage you to add a hefty dose of belly laughter to your daily parenting rounds.

As cliché as it sounds, laughter really is the best medicine. You’re going to need it when your little one poops what resembles butter chicken all down your front for the third time that week💩💩💩 …and spews milky voms into your hair on a daily basis 🥛🤮🙈

What gets you through those tough days? Who’s your banter buddy that makes it all worthwhile?

Love always,

Hayley xx

Perfect Parenting (No Such Thing)

One thing I am learning on this crazy parenting ride is that motherhood is a huge lesson in trust, acceptance and surrender; because there really is no such thing as perfect parenting.

Each day I’m turning new corners as I slowly embrace and accept all that is perfectly imperfect about mumming…

…From having to change and bath my baby boy twice within half an hour of waking (the poop explosions are real 💩💩😳) to having to turn back home just minutes from leaving my doorstep due to hysterical crying two days in a row (my little darling has suddenly decided he prefers being rocked to sleep in my arms during his afternoon nap over being walked to sleep in his stroller…) Bye bye nature walks, Mummy!! 👋🏻🌳😫

As defeating as these moments can feel, it’s impossible to remain frustrated for long… especially when I look at Kole’s tiny little face.

I am so very blessed.

A perfect Mum, I am not – but a good one? Yes I am. I love this tiny soul with every ounce of my being 💙🌈 And if that means giving up my afternoon walks for cuddles, then I surrender… 🤗

What else makes me a good Mum? Laughing after my son spits up milk all down my chest – only to see him chuckling (for the first time ever) right back at me with a mouth full of milk 🙌🏻🥛🤣

What is one of the million ways you are a good Mum? It’s time to acknowledge your superpowers!

Love always,

Hayley xx

The Smallest Things…

There’s no doubt that parenting can be lonely business and often the days can seem long and repetitive. But the dichotomy is that I also never want these days to end… Why? Because there is SO much magic in the seemingly mundane, enough to turn even the longest and loneliest of days into my greatest source of joy.

For me, it’s in my morning conversations with Kole; it’s gazing into his eyes and seeing the future in them; it’s studying his ever changing expressions and realising an hour has passed by; it’s feeling his tiny breaths kissing my skin; it’s noticing his crying soften and his tense body relax the moment I hold him close to my heart… If it wasn’t for these moments of magic in our day, parenting would undoubtedly turn us all insane.

But thankfully, ‘sometimes the smallest moments take up the most room in your heart.’ Today, look for the magic. It’s there.

What are the small moments that take up the most room in your heart?

Love always,

Hayley xx