Perfect Parenting (No Such Thing)

One thing I am learning on this crazy parenting ride is that motherhood is a huge lesson in trust, acceptance and surrender; because there really is no such thing as perfect parenting.

Each day I’m turning new corners as I slowly embrace and accept all that is perfectly imperfect about mumming…

…From having to change and bath my baby boy twice within half an hour of waking (the poop explosions are real 💩💩😳) to having to turn back home just minutes from leaving my doorstep due to hysterical crying two days in a row (my little darling has suddenly decided he prefers being rocked to sleep in my arms during his afternoon nap over being walked to sleep in his stroller…) Bye bye nature walks, Mummy!! 👋🏻🌳😫

As defeating as these moments can feel, it’s impossible to remain frustrated for long… especially when I look at Kole’s tiny little face.

I am so very blessed.

A perfect Mum, I am not – but a good one? Yes I am. I love this tiny soul with every ounce of my being 💙🌈 And if that means giving up my afternoon walks for cuddles, then I surrender… 🤗

What else makes me a good Mum? Laughing after my son spits up milk all down my chest – only to see him chuckling (for the first time ever) right back at me with a mouth full of milk 🙌🏻🥛🤣

What is one of the million ways you are a good Mum? It’s time to acknowledge your superpowers!

Love always,

Hayley xx

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The Smallest Things…

There’s no doubt that parenting can be lonely business and often the days can seem long and repetitive. But the dichotomy is that I also never want these days to end… Why? Because there is SO much magic in the seemingly mundane, enough to turn even the longest and loneliest of days into my greatest source of joy.

For me, it’s in my morning conversations with Kole; it’s gazing into his eyes and seeing the future in them; it’s studying his ever changing expressions and realising an hour has passed by; it’s feeling his tiny breaths kissing my skin; it’s noticing his crying soften and his tense body relax the moment I hold him close to my heart… If it wasn’t for these moments of magic in our day, parenting would undoubtedly turn us all insane.

But thankfully, ‘sometimes the smallest moments take up the most room in your heart.’ Today, look for the magic. It’s there.

What are the small moments that take up the most room in your heart?

Love always,

Hayley xx

The Problem Is Not The Problem

As a Mummy who’s nursing a growing baby boy, I see firsthand how constant feeding rapidly increases growth. The same is true of our troubles – the more we feed them, the bigger they grow. ‘Energy flows where attention goes.’ – Michael Beckwith

The more attention we pay to our problems, the bigger our problems become.

This week, as our little one heads into his first growth spurt, we’ve been faced with the challenge of an unsettled baby each night.

In life, and as parents, it’s important to avoid getting too hung up on our troubles and to try to adopt a solution focussed mindset. Even the simple act of ‘letting go’ is far more freeing than trying to ‘fix’ everything and everyone.

Parenting is demanding business and the more we can pull together as a team the more energy we have to share our love and joy with one another.

Difficulties in life are inevitable. If we can learn to welcome adversity, we can trust in our learning and growth.

Today, when faced with a challenging situation, remember: It’s not the problem that’s the problem, but your response and attitude towards the problem.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Mothers Milk

Nobody said breastfeeding would be easy… So far my baby and I have experienced the initial breaking in period of cracked nipples, early onset of mastitis, and we are currently navigating an overactive let down which means I drown my son in milk each time we feed! Queue choking, frustrated baby who chomps down on my breasts to slow the flow…

There are times when I feel like giving up, but I know this breastfeeding journey will get easier with time. It’s worth me persevering to provide the best nourishment for my child.

‘Breastfeeding is a Mother’s gift to herself, her baby and the earth’ – Pamela K. Wiggins.

In some ways, breastfeeding prepares us for Motherhood. It is to place another’s needs before our own.

I understand breastfeeding isn’t for everyone, and I have no judgement towards women who choose alternative ways to feed their baby. As a bottle fed baby myself, I respect every woman’s decision as a choice.

For me, that choice has been to nourish my child with what Mother Nature provided. Not simply ‘because it’s free’ (…anyone who says that clearly doesn’t know the time and effort that goes into breastfeeding!) I choose the breast because this is the food that was intended for my baby to help him grow and thrive.

What sacrifices/difficulties/adversities have you experienced on your baby feeding journey? Did you reach a point when it all began to get a little easier?

Love always,

(One curious breastfeeding Mumma)

xx

Tag Team

Raising children isn’t easy – it brings a whole new dynamic to your relationship. As much as we love our little ones, there’s no doubt that when a baby arrives there are parts of your old self and your old relationship you will grieve; the freedom, the spontaneity, the flexibility, the long lazy lay ins together, uninterrupted dinners…

Despite the changes children inevitably bring, the success of your relationship will come down to how committed you are at ‘working together.’

Last night, after a four hour tag team struggle to wind our little one down for his bed time routine, I sobbed into my cold dinner.

Thankfully, my man was there for me reminding me that I’m doing a great job and the best I can.

Who do you have working together with you? Raising little ones requires us to work as a team. If you don’t have your partner around, assemble your team of friends, family, neighbors.

You needn’t do this alone.

But for those of you who ARE working together as a couple, remember that it is precisely this ‘working together’ that will lead to the ongoing success of your relationship and your growing family.

What are your top tips for ‘working together’ for a successful parenting relationship?

Love always,

Hayley xx

Baby Blues

‘Baby blues, baby blues, all caught up in those baby blues.’ – The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band

This has been my song for the last three days. At first I thought there was something wrong with me. How can I feel so joyful yet so sad at the same time?

Bursting into tears for no apparent reason whilst my heart simultaneously swells with love for this little soul we’ve created is an overwhelming cocktail of emotions.

And then I heard of ‘the baby blues.’ 80% of women will experience the baby blues and it usually passes within 2 to 3 days.

However, if you find you are feeling teary, anxious, and irritable with moods that are up and down for longer than two weeks, reach out for support from friends and family, as well as professionals as you may be experiencing early signs of post natal depression.

Remember to be gentle on yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Giving birth is a huge undertaking on a woman’s body and emotions and now is not the time to berate yourself. You are doing the best you can.

Bad days don’t make you a bad mum, they simply remind you that you are human; not superwoman.

Trust that like anything, in time, it will pass. You’ve got this Mumma!

Love always,

Hayley xx

The Rainbow After The Rain

Each day I receive a quote to my phone which appears in the form of a notification. On my birthing day, mid labour, this is the quote I received. It couldn’t have been more true.

At this stage I had endured a lot of rain and had been birthing for over 24hours. A pinched nerve in my lower back meant that my labour was not ‘flowing’ as I’d imagined. Determined to avoid any drugs or invasive pain relief that would pass to our baby’s system, I allowed the rain to pour down on me – hard and heavy.

I would say that the back labour and water injections used to alleviate the discomfort were far more distressing than any other part of the birthing process, which i’d always held as beautiful and powerful and still believe this to be true.

The pinched nerve demanded all of my attention and focus, and at times I questioned my ability to birth my baby boy naturally, if at all. But my rainbow came. And I love him with every ounce of my being 💙

In life, sometimes we wish to give up. We don’t see that in the midst of our pain and despair, there is a beautiful rainbow forming.

Today, I ask that you TRUST. No matter what your circumstances or how long you’ve ‘put up with the rain’ – have faith that the rainbow is coming. Trust that it is bright, beautiful, colourful and magical. And yes my dear, that rainbow is just for you. You are SO worthy 🌈

So this little bundle of love is one week old today 💙🌈

Wow, what a journey Motherhood is.

My life now consist of sleeping in three hour increments or less; poopy bums and milky burps are the main flavour of the day, and my breasts have been converted into a 24hour milk restaurant 🥛

BUT, holding you close to our hearts, hearing your little piglet snorts and seeing your dreamy smile as you sleep makes every ounce of tiredness worth it’s weight in gold.

We love you Kole Roy 💙🌈 Happy one week earthside beautiful boy,

Love always,

Mummy & Daddyxx