Just prior to having my son, I attended a mums and bubs group. A beautiful Mumma was brave enough to share her struggles on becoming a mum. One aspect of motherhood she found particularly challenging was the sudden loss of her identity; no longer was she successful business owner, socialite, spontaneous lover and friend (or so it seemed) – her identity was now: ‘full time mum.’
I’m sure we’ve all identified with this feeling at some stage. When each waking hour (and every sleeping hour for that matter) is spent nursing and caring for your little one, it’s easy to lose sight of the person you once were prior to parenting.
A good friend of mine recently said; “I want to say you’re an amazing mother, but you are so much more than that…”
Her words melted deep into my heart. Without realising, I’d longed to hear those words… she was right. I am so much more than a mother.
I am a woman. I am divine. I am sexy. I am fun. I am a lover, daughter, sister and friend. I am courageous. I am strong. I am resilient. I am determined. I am infinite potential. I am eternal. I am WHOLE. I am love. I am at peace with myself. I am all of that and more and yes, I am a dam good mother too.
Remember, you are a multi dimensional being unbound by names, possessions and identities. You are an untethered force of light and love here to shine bright like the star that you are. 💫
Today, break free from the chains that bind you to names and titles. Embrace all that is you.
Becoming a mother shook me to my core. I resonated with Mayim Bialik when she said: “I came to parenting the way most of us do — knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.” I soon discovered there was so much conflicting information ‘out there’ that I began to doubt what I instinctively felt was right.
I was, and still am, learning; but the biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that there are no rules to parenting. No one way fits all.
As soon as I began to tune out to the world and tune into my baby; everything just sort of fell into place.
The stress and anxiety and self-doubt subsided and I finally feel like I’m not such a rookie at this parenting business after all. The joyful moments now outweigh the ‘oh f*ck!’ moments and I can safely say “I love being a Mum.” It’s the most natural instinctive feeling in the world. Heart explosions occur as often as poop explosions (and believe me, that’s a lot!) As cliche as it sounds, the love and protection you feel for your child is overwhelmingly profound and no other feeling comes close.
Motherhood is by far the most challenging, magical and wonky journey I have ever voyaged; but if I am to remain cast away at sea without a sail amidst the turbulent adventure that is parenting, then a sailors life is for me.
Any full time Mummy will agree it can be challenging sneaking a moment to yourself, especially when your family live overseas and your hardworking man works long hours. There’s barely time to eat, poop and shower, let alone build a business.
Whilst time for inspired action and ‘doing’ is somewhat limited, there is plenty of time for dreaming; especially when trapped beneath a tiny Prince for his third nap of the day.
‘Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.’
– Gloria Steinem
I have surrendered to less DOING and more BEING during these precious early months of caring for our son, Kole. As a once immaculate neat freak, this transition hasn’t been easy. But I can now safely say ‘Fuck it!’ if the dishes aren’t done, the house is a shambles and my hair looks like a birds nest.
Being present to Kole’s needs first and foremost feels so much better than striving frantically to live up to Superwoman standards in order to get it all done.
As I dream myself into alignment with my desires, I feel the magic of the unknown rising up in my chest. It feels warm. It feels bold and it feels ALIVE.
This Mummy is not going backwards into the security of her old life, but forward with courage and commitment.
What dreams of yours are stirring within you? Let them brew long enough that they absorb the richness and fullness of Divine flavour, but not so long that they become cold and forgotten…
Today, dream a little longer and trust that your time will come.
I think every parent needs to be reminded of this… When I was first flung into the lions den of parenting, I felt like a fish out of water wearing learner plates and training wheels. Sometimes I still do. This was further exasperated by all of the ‘noise’ out there.
My advice? Try not to google everything. Tune out to the world and tune into yourself. Listen only to that which resonates with you and leave all the rest behind.
There is no wrong or right way. Only the right way for you and your family.
‘The more people have studied different methods of bringing up children, the more they have come to the conclusion that what good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is the best after all.’
– Benjamin Spock
Trust yourself. You know more then you think.
Nobody wants a fair weathered friend who only shows up when your life is flowing with ease and grace.
We can’t all ride the limo of success and happiness all of the time, but if you have a handful of loyal souls who walk beside you through thick or thin, then consider yourself blessed, for those are the truest of connections worth treasuring.
Be grateful for those willing to ride with you aboard that rickety broken down bus; even when it’s hitting all the pot holes, coming up against roadblock after roadblock and struggling to get over the hill.
Today, express your love and gratitude for the people in your life who remind you that you’re not alone.
Who rides with you through the good times and the bad..?
One thing I am learning on this crazy parenting ride is that motherhood is a huge lesson in trust, acceptance and surrender; because there really is no such thing as perfect parenting.
Each day I’m turning new corners as I slowly embrace and accept all that is perfectly imperfect about mumming…
…From having to change and bath my baby boy twice within half an hour of waking (the poop explosions are real 💩💩😳) to having to turn back home just minutes from leaving my doorstep due to hysterical crying two days in a row (my little darling has suddenly decided he prefers being rocked to sleep in my arms during his afternoon nap over being walked to sleep in his stroller…) Bye bye nature walks, Mummy!! 👋🏻🌳😫
As defeating as these moments can feel, it’s impossible to remain frustrated for long… especially when I look at Kole’s tiny little face.
I am so very blessed.
A perfect Mum, I am not – but a good one? Yes I am. I love this tiny soul with every ounce of my being 💙🌈 And if that means giving up my afternoon walks for cuddles, then I surrender… 🤗
What else makes me a good Mum? Laughing after my son spits up milk all down my chest – only to see him chuckling (for the first time ever) right back at me with a mouth full of milk 🙌🏻🥛🤣
What is one of the million ways you are a good Mum? It’s time to acknowledge your superpowers!
There’s no doubt that parenting can be lonely business and often the days can seem long and repetitive. But the dichotomy is that I also never want these days to end… Why? Because there is SO much magic in the seemingly mundane, enough to turn even the longest and loneliest of days into my greatest source of joy.
For me, it’s in my morning conversations with Kole; it’s gazing into his eyes and seeing the future in them; it’s studying his ever changing expressions and realising an hour has passed by; it’s feeling his tiny breaths kissing my skin; it’s noticing his crying soften and his tense body relax the moment I hold him close to my heart… If it wasn’t for these moments of magic in our day, parenting would undoubtedly turn us all insane.
But thankfully, ‘sometimes the smallest moments take up the most room in your heart.’ Today, look for the magic. It’s there.
What are the small moments that take up the most room in your heart?
As a Mummy who’s nursing a growing baby boy, I see firsthand how constant feeding rapidly increases growth. The same is true of our troubles – the more we feed them, the bigger they grow. ‘Energy flows where attention goes.’ – Michael Beckwith
The more attention we pay to our problems, the bigger our problems become.
This week, as our little one heads into his first growth spurt, we’ve been faced with the challenge of an unsettled baby each night.
In life, and as parents, it’s important to avoid getting too hung up on our troubles and to try to adopt a solution focussed mindset. Even the simple act of ‘letting go’ is far more freeing than trying to ‘fix’ everything and everyone.
Parenting is demanding business and the more we can pull together as a team the more energy we have to share our love and joy with one another.
Difficulties in life are inevitable. If we can learn to welcome adversity, we can trust in our learning and growth.
Today, when faced with a challenging situation, remember: It’s not the problem that’s the problem, but your response and attitude towards the problem.
Nobody said breastfeeding would be easy… So far my baby and I have experienced the initial breaking in period of cracked nipples, early onset of mastitis, and we are currently navigating an overactive let down which means I drown my son in milk each time we feed! Queue choking, frustrated baby who chomps down on my breasts to slow the flow…
There are times when I feel like giving up, but I know this breastfeeding journey will get easier with time. It’s worth me persevering to provide the best nourishment for my child.
‘Breastfeeding is a Mother’s gift to herself, her baby and the earth’ – Pamela K. Wiggins.
In some ways, breastfeeding prepares us for Motherhood. It is to place another’s needs before our own.
I understand breastfeeding isn’t for everyone, and I have no judgement towards women who choose alternative ways to feed their baby. As a bottle fed baby myself, I respect every woman’s decision as a choice.
For me, that choice has been to nourish my child with what Mother Nature provided. Not simply ‘because it’s free’ (…anyone who says that clearly doesn’t know the time and effort that goes into breastfeeding!) I choose the breast because this is the food that was intended for my baby to help him grow and thrive.
What sacrifices/difficulties/adversities have you experienced on your baby feeding journey? Did you reach a point when it all began to get a little easier?
(One curious breastfeeding Mumma)