Becoming a mother shook me to my core. I resonated with Mayim Bialik when she said: “I came to parenting the way most of us do — knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.” I soon discovered there was so much conflicting information ‘out there’ that I began to doubt what I instinctively felt was right.
I was, and still am, learning; but the biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that there are no rules to parenting. No one way fits all.
As soon as I began to tune out to the world and tune into my baby; everything just sort of fell into place.
The stress and anxiety and self-doubt subsided and I finally feel like I’m not such a rookie at this parenting business after all. The joyful moments now outweigh the ‘oh f*ck!’ moments and I can safely say “I love being a Mum.” It’s the most natural instinctive feeling in the world. Heart explosions occur as often as poop explosions (and believe me, that’s a lot!) As cliche as it sounds, the love and protection you feel for your child is overwhelmingly profound and no other feeling comes close.
Motherhood is by far the most challenging, magical and wonky journey I have ever voyaged; but if I am to remain cast away at sea without a sail amidst the turbulent adventure that is parenting, then a sailors life is for me.
In the event of loss, setbacks and adversity, it’s easy to lose site of the shore. It takes effort to remain mindful and present to joy when your head is spinning with ‘what if’s’ and ‘if only’s’.
If you’ve found yourself caught in the murky abyss, hold strong. Your first job is only to acknowledge you are there. Tire yourself not with thoughts of how you wound up there and how on Earth you’ll ever get out, simply BE in the abyss and feel all the feels. Honour exactly where you are in this moment.
Trust that you have the power to heal and like anything, this shall pass. Now hand it over to a Higher Power, and let go.
All will be revealed to you in good time if you simply keep faith.
Remember, you are an infinite, unlimited being of light and LOVE. And with love in your heart ANYTHING is possible – even the murkiest of waters can be transcended into crystal clear rivers.
You, my Dear one, are completely unhindered. Place your feet firmly on the earth, arms stretched wide, eyes tilted to the skies, and smile.
You can do all of the preparation in the world to ensure you achieve your end result; you can cover all your bases with prevention methods and tools for success – but if you are lacking that one vital element, all of your carefully laid out plans may well be in vain.
So what is the vital ingredient? SELF-BELIEF.
Belief in oneself, your capabilities and your worth is key for the success of any personal venture. If you have lingering self-doubts or lack trust in your abilities then you are already setting yourself up for failure. That’s not a bad thing. No doubt you will gain some wisdom for the next time…
But if you’d like to avoid there having to be a next time, begin with your mindset today.
Believe YOU CAN. Believe YOU ARE WORTHY and TRUST in yourself.
As I near closer to my birthing and my intentions for a natural, instinctive birth – my mindset matters now more than ever. Because whether I believe I can, or believe I can’t – I am right.
This week I’ve been focusing on releasing control and settling in to a place of deep trust and surrender. Releasing attachment is the key component to manifesting a desired outcome.
I could feel some discord surrounding my labour and desires to birth naturally. The unknown was putting me into a place of fear… “What if things go wrong? What if I’m not in the right hands? What if my support team doesn’t respect my wishes and I lose control when I’m at my most vulnerable?”
I have made a conscious choice to birth drug free, but I have no idea of the hows and when’s of my birthing experience; and this frightens the crap out of me!
Stop, breathe and relax.
Whatever your circumstances, once you have made a firm commitment to your ‘why’ – it is essential to release the need to micro manage and control the ‘what’s’, ‘when’s’ and ‘how’s.’
Grasping at every little detail only blocks the natural flow of events. Instead, try to remain patient, present and attentive to the synchronistic events that provide proof you’re on the right path.
Take action, but be open to receiving your desired outcome in ways that may differ from, and far exceed, your initial expectations.
Trust in yourself, but most importantly, trust in the Universal Laws that govern all of nature and all that is. As Gabby Bernstein reminds us;
The Universe has your back.
So let go. Have faith in your power, then surrender this to a Higher Power, who will undoubtedly take care of all the rest.
Words carry much weight. Which is why it is so important for us to THINK before we speak.
T – is it TRUE?
H – is it HELPFUL?
I – is it INSPIRING?
N – is it NECESSARY?
K – is it KIND?
As Mother Teresa reminds us, when we chose words of kindness, ‘there echoes are truly endless.’ I experienced the power of kind words today when I received a bundle of handwritten letters from my kindergarten students filled with messages of love and appreciation, along with a beautiful heart shaped paperweight. I have spent the last six weeks teaching them mindfulness and yoga. Their gift to me was unexpected, yet my heart swelled with love and appreciation for the time they’d taken to share their words of kindness.
One of my favourite quotes by the Dalai Lama is:
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.
Today, before you think, speak or act – ask yourself, “Is this kind?” Remember that your words have the power to hurt or to heal, to condemn or to inspire. Choose wisely.
The only time we ever have is NOW. Even when the next moment arrives, we begin to live it in the moment, which is always now. Yet so many of our present moments are squandered with thoughts of the past or the future. Ruminating and mulling over the past, which cannot be changed – robs us of the present moment. Day dreaming of the future, which is never guaranteed – robs us of the present moment.
Our mind, which swings back and forth like a pendulum between past and future thoughts, is what keeps us from fully experiencing and living life now. When we silence the mental chatter by breathing and becoming aware of our true self – the loving presence behind the thinking, we begin to immerse ourselves in life itself. Each moment is new and fresh. Old habits fall away as we experience ourselves and the world we live in as ever changing, ever evolving, ever new. We are limitless. Life is limitless. And the time to live is NOW.
With each New Year, opportunities for change and renewal arise; a time when fresh ideas, hopes and wishes are born. It is true that we can ignite change at any moment in our lives – that we needn’t wait until the first of the month, or Monday, or for the elusive ‘perfect moment’ to begin – but there is something wondrous and welcoming about the start of a New Year; a blank canvas for which our dreams and creativity await form and application.
But when faced with a blank canvas, what should we paint? What hues should we select and what if we run out of colour halfway through? Worse still – what if we stare woefully at the blank page before us, a sense of rising dread as we consider our forgotten finesse for creativity?
In answer to these very real and experienced questions, I invite you to cast your mind back to when you were a child. Rarely, as children, did we ever stop to ponder our ability to create when faced with fresh pots of paint and paper. Instead, with little hesitation, we’d dive in, barely stopping to roll up our sleeves as we repeatedly dipped our brushes, in and out. It didn’t matter if the colours became mixed or the paper became saturated and soaked. Nor did we care if our brush strokes were sloppy and without direction. After splashing a myriad of colour in every which way, we’d pause – and then confidently state our masterpiece, even if it looked nothing of the sort: “Look – a house! A sun! A crocodile!”
Children don’t analyse their visions and dreams, they simply create according to their own unique perspective.
So don’t fret if, as you pen down your wish to lose fifteen pounds or more, you are nibbling away at the left over Christmas chocolates, or dousing your front with fallen crumbs of turkey and cranberry sandwiches.
Today is for creative dreaming, the doing will surely follow.
As we approach the close of 2016, we reach a stage when self-reflection is inevitable, especially if we are to live a life of purpose and peaceful fulfillment. And we can start with the essential vibe of love.
Have we loved enough; ourselves as well as others? Who have we taken for granted? Are there any unhealed hurts left unresolved? Is there someone we have neglected or forgotten to express our love and appreciation for? Let us not be idle in thinking that they already know.
When I lost my Dad without warning, there were a million things left unsaid. Expressions of love and gratitude I assumed he knew and never had the chance to say to him. Don’t let yourself be that person who only knows the depth of your love at the hour of separation.
Here’s my wish for myself and you in 2017… Let us express more love; may we appreciate those we often take for granted; let us forgive easily and love passionately; may we live a life free from regrets; may love flow easily and often.