Better, Not Bitter

Life was never meant to be easy… Joyful? Fulfilling? Abundant? Yes. But easy? No.

Life is meant to challenge us; to encourage us to grow and to evolve.

Those testing times which threaten to make us bitter are, in fact, designed to make us BETTER.

How do you respond to life’s difficulties? Do you choose to be a victim of circumstances, finger pointing and blaming others for your misfortune? Or do you choose to welcome life’s challenges as an opportunity to own your shit and RISE UP? To choose another way?

Today, welcome challenge with an open heart. Be grateful for the chance to be BETTER, not bitter.

Love always,

Hayley xx

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Roses and Thorns

Life is full of duality; love – hate; light – dark, peace – war; up – down; good – evil; life – death…

Life is a bed of roses when everything is going smoothly and all we feel is love, peace, harmony and joy. But when life’s contrasts show up, which inevitably they do, they are often met with some resistance.

But the ‘thorns’ of life form a necessary part of our existence. Without them, how would we know and come to appreciate their opposite?

For example, how can we be fully alive without the knowledge that one day we will meet death? How can we feel warmth without having first experienced cold? How can we know the fullness of true love if we’ve yet to meet with heartache and pain?

Instead of viewing life’s contrasts as something ‘bad’ to be avoided, we can begin to appreciate the learning and growth we gain from such moments.

We needn’t LOVE the thorns as such, but we do need to respect them; for every rose in life bares thorns of wisdom🌹

Love always,

Hayley xx

Thank you

I’ll be the first to testify that the more we are grateful for the things we have in life; the more life provides us with things to be grateful for.

So why is gratitude the first thing we let slide the moment the shit hits the fan?

A good friend of mine recently said; “It’s easy to be grateful when all of your ducks are lined up… But if you can look for the good and stay grateful when life is a struggle, THAT’s when the real magic happens.” Wise words 🙏🏻

Today, see the beauty in all situations. Even the ones that are there to test you. Because ultimately, those are the experiences that urge you to grow, to evolve and to expand your horizons.

And that is why I’m choosing to see the beauty in my sadness today…

On this day 13 years ago heaven needed another angel, and decided you were the one Dad..

In your memory, I’d like to reflect on the gifts you blessed me with in hope that I can offer my baby the same unconditional love you bestowed upon me as a little girl.

💫 Bear hugs. I was never too old or too grumpy to receive one of your warm bear hugs. And even if I was, and tried to side step your cuddles – you’d stretch out your arm and reel me in with an anaconda type grip that said: “You’re receiving my love, grumpy or not, now take it!” …I will never deny my son a hug… (Even if he’s being a little sh*t 😝)

💫 Your weirdness. Your humour was unique, unapologetic and had us all in fits of belly laughter! I will teach my son to embrace his weirdness and to never apologise for who he is!

💫 Protection. Your nature was gentle and loving, but MY GOD if anyone ever interfered with our happiness you were FIERCELY protective and would shield us with your strength. I will teach my son to be his own pillar of strength should anyone ever threaten his sense of self.

💫 Humbleness. You faced many adversities during your brief time here, yet you remained humble throughout. Rarely did I hear you complaining or wishing for things to be different… I will teach my son that he is always enough and to count his blessings, even in times of adversity.

Thank you for everything that you taught me Dad 🙏🏻

Loving you always, forgetting you never 🙏🏻💙 xx

Beautiful Pulsating Life

This week my partner flew to New Zealand to be by his Uncles side as he transitioned from this lifetime.

Losing loved ones is never easy, and being so close to death certainly gives cause for reflection of the important things in life; family, relationships, connection…

Today, take a moment to give thanks for those simple blessings we often take for granted – those things that money can’t buy; air in your lungs to breathe, limbs to move freely, laughter in your heart, the earth beneath your feet, someone to love and to hold…LIFE beautiful pulsating life.

Life can be ever so fleeting. Let us not waste it longing for what we do not have, when we can give thanks for all that is already ours.

Love always,

Hayley xx

The Duty of Being Happy

Duty of being happy
With so much to ‘do’ in a limited number of hours each day, we often neglect the most important duty of all – the duty of being happy. Poet and writer, Robert Louis Stevenson was right when he acknowledged that our happiness ‘sow[s] anonymous benefits upon the world.’

When we take responsibility for our own happiness, each person we come into contact with profits. At times, it may seem as if our happiness depends on outside circumstances – but if we remember that happiness is a choice, we can remain steadfast even in the face of adversity. Our happiness is not determined by our gains and our losses, but by the way we choose to respond to life.

Happiness is not a possession to be prized. It is a quality of thought, a state of mind.

– Daphne Du Maurier

Today, take a moment to check in with yourself. How are you feeling? If you notice you are not happy, you can begin to raise your vibration with gratitude. Happiness is a by-product of being grateful. When you take a moment to count your blessings, however small that may seem, you’ll discover that happiness is already available to you, here. Right now. In this moment.

In love & light,

Hayley xx

A New Day

yesterday

Life is rarely perfect. Last week I failed to meet deadlines, managed to work through only half of my to do list, and arrived at the end of the week feeling like I’d accomplished very little. There were disagreements, disappointments, tears and set backs, but amidst the chaos that is life, I can wholeheartedly say: “I am grateful for each and every moment.” As mentioned before, life is rarely perfect – but we can learn to love our perfectly imperfect lives.

When things don’t go according to plan, look for the beauty in the lessons. Take note of all that you have to be thankful for. If life appears to rush by faster than a Busta Rhymes rap, take a moment to breathe. Give yourself permission to do absolutely nothing. Sometimes we need to lose ourselves in the many contrasts of life to remember that life is for living; the good, the not so good, and the crazy!

In releasing some of the expectations we place on ourselves we can learn to accept life as it is. We make peace with the parts of our lives that are working for us, and those parts which need some tweaks. Experience and observation allows us to regain some momentum and clarity, and it is through this process of trial and error that we can begin to make the necessary adjustments

Today, let go of the ‘what ifs’, the ‘should haves’ and the ‘could haves’ and embrace this new day. Release all expectations of what today should be. Whatever life throws at you, give thanks for it’s many lessons and blessings.

In love & light,

Hayley xx

p.s I though you might like to hear a mega fast Busta Rhymes rap! Enjoy 😉

The Three Grand Essentials To Happiness

essentials to happiness

Happiness is a state of mind; a state which can shift from pure contentment to complete dissatisfaction in any given moment. This change in perspective can be triggered by a number of outside circumstances seemingly out of our control; unexpected news, the loss of something dear, an ill-mannered interaction with a stranger…

At times our discomfort is prolonged and happiness can feel like a distant memory. I remember the overwhelming feeling of complete sorrow in the long months that followed my Dad’s death. I was a sinking ship. Afraid of marring others with my grief, I’d hide my devastation beneath a brave face, but on the inside I was an empty vessel lost at sea. If I knew then what I know now, I would advise my nineteen-year-old self to honour her feelings; to be unafraid of reaching out and asking for help.

If you are feeling bereft, try not to stuff down your emotions. Be kind to yourself and trust that this feeling will pass. It may not go away entirely, but as sure as the tides ebb and flow, so will your state of happiness. Nothing in life is constant. As rocky as the oceans may seem, the tides will settle in time. So don’t lose heart. It’s not your job to control the weather – life is unpredictable. But we can learn to navigate the storms, we can learn to stay afloat instead of drowning.

We can begin with the three essentials to happiness.

Something to do:

This could be as simple as petting your dog; making a start on a long neglected project or planting some vegetables to harvest in winter. Participating in life brings us back to the only moment we have – NOW. It is now that we are free from the binds of the past and worries about the future. For me, writing, walking in nature, and belly laughing with loved ones always brings me back to a state of gratitude for the moment I’m in.

Something to love:

At our core, we are pure, unbounded love. Therefore, not to love is a slow death to the soul. Yet many of us forget that we cannot give away what we don’t have. Love begins first with oneself. Not in a conceited self-righteous way, but in a way that is non-judgemental and self-accepting. When we truly love ourselves, we are able love others unconditionally. Make a promise each day to look in the mirror and say with deep compassion: “I love you.” Watch how that love flows outward to others.

Something to hope for:

Studies have shown that those who practice optimism and gratitude live longer, healthier lives. Hopeful individuals repeatedly show reduced levels of stress, anxiety and depression. Hope instills a sense of faith that everything will work out for our highest good. You don’t have to be religious to have faith in a higher power. You can have faith in yourself; faith in a loving Universe, faith in others, faith in a non-denominational Divine guidance. In short, faith and hope free us from the shackles of limiting beliefs, bringing a sense of peace to even the darkest of days.

Today, take the time to do something you love. Reflect and give thanks for this moment. Trust that everything is precisely as it is meant to be, and keep the faith.

In love & light,

Hayley xx