All Good Things Must Come To An End

This is me 2018. It’s been a year of extreme highs and inevitable lows; growing and birthing a beautiful baby boy has been magical, momentous and equally terrifying!

Motherhood has connected me to a love so profound it scares me how fiercely one can love another human; but parenthood has also brought me to my knees, literally. I’ve been floored both physically and emotionally and some days I’ve barely recognised the woman staring back at me in the mirror.

I’ve been pushed to all of my edges and limits and there have been days when I’ve cracked and broken into a gazillion pieces. Feeling vulnerable is an understatement. Parenting has a way of unearthing all of your unhealed wounds and past traumas. (I highly recommend it, it’s great therapy!)

Yet even in my darkest hours a silent voice has reminded me that I’m also resilient AF, and this woman is by no means shattered beyond repair. In fact, quite the opposite. I’ve earnt my strong Mumma wings and I am spreading them far and wide in 2019 with nothing but love and gratitude for this transformational journey I’m on. I welcome the continuing growth and expansion that’s to come for both myself and my little family.

I gave up on New Years resolutions years ago, but I do like to set a theme for the year and I’m making 2019 my year of TRUST.

I am trusting in myself, I am trusting in my intuition, I am trusting in my worth as a woman, I trust in my capacity to continue to give as a mother, I trust in the goodness of others, I trust that the Universe has our back and is supporting my family regardless of what life throws our way.

And on that note I’m shaking my booty into 2019 with a twinkle in my eye and a heart full of love, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, faith and gratitude for all I have learnt and all I am willing to let go of.

2018, thank you for the lessons. 2019, I am ready!

I will be taking a break for blogging on WordPress but you can find me on Instagram and Facebook by following the links in the sidebar 👉🏻

Dear Dad has been my home for 5 years of writing, but I’ll admit I’ve struggled to maintain my blog since becoming a mother. It doesn’t feel right blogging here when I simply don’t have the time to reciprocate by reading all of your magical blogs.

And so I am taking a break from this platform but will continue to post on my Instagram feed!

I will reserve this space for its original intent, which was, and still is, a place for me to simply say: Dear Dad…

Thank you for being so supportive over the years and for the loving connections I have gained from this sacred space, I love each and every one of you 💖

Love always

Peace out ✌🏻

Hayley xx

Dear Dad

Dear Dad, as I sit here on the Eve of Christmas watching our baby boy play, I can’t help but wish you were here; yet…something in the twinkle of his eye and the curve of his smile tells me you are 💙

I will always love you, I will never forget you… Thank you for being my Dad, my hero, our guiding star 💫

Here’s to those special souls who cannot be with us this Christmas; whose presence, though deeply missed, will be always be felt,

Love always,

Hayley xx

Happiness, A Direction

I was saddened to hear an old school friend recently passed, leaving behind his family and son. I later learned he’d battled with depression. My heart felt heavy.

So many who feel burdened, or that they are a burden on others, feel their only answer is to take matters into their own hands. So many lives lost, so many hurting families are left to pick up the broken pieces. It’s times like this I remember how important my mindfulness and emotional awareness work with children really is. Could depression really be prevented by teaching children self awareness and emotional regulation? I believe so.

How often have you heard, or even repeated this line: “I’ll be happy when… *insert perceived doorway to happiness here*

This is part of the problem we face; feeling powerless and placing our happiness on external events, but happiness is not OUT THERE. Happiness is not a place in the future we have yet to arrive at. It’s in here 👉🏻❤️

Happiness is an inside job, it’s a feeling, a choice, a direction of focus, a decision to be grateful regardless of our circumstances. It’s also an act of self love, a recognition of our own self worth.

Once we realise that possessions and people are not the primary source of our happiness, we can begin to take control of our own peace and joy.

“But my husband makes me happy? My children are a great source of joy…My home brings me peace…” All very true and valid statements, to which I relate to every one. I adore our home for the sanctuary it brings and I love my family unconditionally. They stimulate my joy and happiness all the time. (Notice how I said MY joy.) They awaken the happiness that ALREADY EXISTS within me by their sheer existence and presence in my life. And whilst that means my joy would be severely depleted if ever they were to leave, ultimately, my happiness would still remain, even if a little more dormant. It would be up to me to choose (or not choose) to reawaken my joy.

‘Where our attention goes, energy flows.’

And it’s precisely this flow of energy that drives our experiences and ultimately, our sense of happiness. Some days it’s harder than others, some days we just need to feel all the feels and that’s ok too. Just remember, if those days turn into weeks, months and even years, it’s ALWAYS ok to reach out and ask for help.

Today, may you feel the deep sense of peace within you. May all the people and circumstances you meet stir the infinite well of joy in your soul.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Faith Over Fear

As I journey through this lifetime, an ancient teaching becomes clearer with each passing day; we really only ever have two choices – love, or fear.

All of our choosing, all of our doing, our thinking, our responses, our actions, our REactions and our beliefs are born out of these two choices; love, or fear.

Whenever I’m feeling misaligned from my true self, I can guarantee there’s an underlying fear present; fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of loss, fear of not being ’enough’… fear of being ‘too much’, fear of offending, fear of rocking the boat and yes, even fear of succeeding. We can be fearful of our own greatness and our unique gifts and talents too.

Today, notice any fears bubbling beneath the surface. How do they inform your words, thoughts, deeds and actions? See if you can choose again. What happens when you greet your fears with faith and love?

In my experience, the simple choice to choose love over fear has the power to change the entire trajectory of our experience.

So what will you choose?

Love always,

Hayley xx

You Are Infinite

Just prior to having my son, I attended a mums and bubs group. A beautiful Mumma was brave enough to share her struggles on becoming a mum. One aspect of motherhood she found particularly challenging was the sudden loss of her identity; no longer was she successful business owner, socialite, spontaneous lover and friend (or so it seemed) – her identity was now: ‘full time mum.’

I’m sure we’ve all identified with this feeling at some stage. When each waking hour (and every sleeping hour for that matter) is spent nursing and caring for your little one, it’s easy to lose sight of the person you once were prior to parenting.

A good friend of mine recently said; “I want to say you’re an amazing mother, but you are so much more than that…”

Her words melted deep into my heart. Without realising, I’d longed to hear those words… she was right. I am so much more than a mother.

I am a woman. I am divine. I am sexy. I am fun. I am a lover, daughter, sister and friend. I am courageous. I am strong. I am resilient. I am determined. I am infinite potential. I am eternal. I am WHOLE. I am love. I am at peace with myself. I am all of that and more and yes, I am a dam good mother too.

Remember, you are a multi dimensional being unbound by names, possessions and identities. You are an untethered force of light and love here to shine bright like the star that you are. 💫

Today, break free from the chains that bind you to names and titles. Embrace all that is you.

Love always,

Hayley xx

A Sailor’s Life For Me

Becoming a mother shook me to my core. I resonated with Mayim Bialik when she said: “I came to parenting the way most of us do — knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.” I soon discovered there was so much conflicting information ‘out there’ that I began to doubt what I instinctively felt was right.

I was, and still am, learning; but the biggest lesson I’ve learnt is that there are no rules to parenting. No one way fits all.

As soon as I began to tune out to the world and tune into my baby; everything just sort of fell into place.

The stress and anxiety and self-doubt subsided and I finally feel like I’m not such a rookie at this parenting business after all. The joyful moments now outweigh the ‘oh f*ck!’ moments and I can safely say “I love being a Mum.” It’s the most natural instinctive feeling in the world. Heart explosions occur as often as poop explosions (and believe me, that’s a lot!) As cliche as it sounds, the love and protection you feel for your child is overwhelmingly profound and no other feeling comes close.

Motherhood is by far the most challenging, magical and wonky journey I have ever voyaged; but if I am to remain cast away at sea without a sail amidst the turbulent adventure that is parenting, then a sailors life is for me.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Timeless

3 months… 12 weeks… 84 days… 288 hours… 17280 minutes… 1036800 seconds… However this precious time spent with you is to be counted, I choose to see it as eternal and forever imprinted in our hearts… 👣❤️

Here’s to sleepless nights and poonami explosions, milky voms and ‘stinky ear’ cuddles, cherished memories and forgotten dishes, endless rocking and dribbly kisses, tantrums, tears and toothless grins and a whole bunch of love, weirdness and belly laughter in between 💝

I’d do it all again for you in a heartbeat baby Kole 💙

Love always xx