change the way you look at things

Dr. Wayne Dyer’s quote may seem like a clever play on words, yet scientific evidence has proven that when we observe circumstances, we literally change their outcome. Scientists of quantum physics discovered that the mere act of paying attention to events alters the course of reality.  This means that the power of perspective is synonymous with that old cliché; ‘Is the cup half empty or half full?’

Albert Einstein stated:

The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.

– Albert Einstein

When things aren’t going our way, a simple shift in perspective has the power to change our circumstances for the better. When we choose thoughts of abundance over lack and scarcity, when we choose to see the good in people instead of their flaws, we begin to experience a friendlier universe instead of a hostile one.

There are days when our focus is stuck on what’s wrong with life, and sure enough, we experience more of that; we receive a parking fine, the lights are all red, the money doesn’t show up, conflicts arise… And there are days when we recognise what’s right with life, and sure enough, Life rewards us with more abundance; we feel more love, we receive an unexpected bonus, strangers smile at us in the street, the lights are all green…

Where your focus goes, energy flows.

– Tony Robbins

Today, when faced with unexpected set backs or challenges, when you feel yourself focusing on lack instead of abundance, on the faults of others instead of their strengths – ask yourself: How can I see this differently?

In love & light,

Hayley xx


Be The Change.

be the change

Real change begins within. We must be willing to become what it is that we wish to see in our lives.

I have found that whenever my sense of inner peace is off balance, if ever I am met with difficult roadblocks along the way, there is usually a personal growth lesson I am failing to recognise. Did I waver momentarily from my authentic self? Have I communicated clearly my truth? Did I fail to recognise another’s perspective? Have I neglected my self-care practice?

Once we become aware of what’s going on on the inside, we can recognise the teachings that are being reflected to us in our outer world. Only then can we return our focus to the basic principles for a peaceful existence – acceptance; forgiveness; kindness; patience; love; joy; gratitude. The situation then usually resolves itself.

In today’s quote, Mahatma Gandhi, leader of the freedom independence and civil rights movement in India, reminds us that we must ‘be the change.’

If you crave more peace – be peaceful. Do you long for more love? Be more loving. If you wish to receive more abundance in life – give more. More happiness? Share your joy. The best way for us to experience a life of fulfillment is to be the change and lead by example. Our outer world always mirrors back to us the state of our inner world. The good news is, we have the power to change this. We have the power to shift our perceptions so that we can experience more of the love, joy, and abundance that is available to us.

Today, ‘be the change you wish to see in the world.’

In love & light,

Hayley xx



We are only ever one thought away from true peace and happiness. With each breath, each heart beat, we get to choose again. To rewrite our story. To embrace the love and abundance that is available to us. Keep your thoughts and feelings elevated, and trust that everything will be ok. The Universe has your back.

In love & light,
Hayley xx

The Magic in The Mundane


I often wonder at the contrast of life. It is oftentimes noted that without contrast, we could not know life’s opposites. Without knowing what we do not want, how could we ever know what we do want?

It got me wondering about finding the magic in the mundane. Being mindful and present even when life is lacking in obvious spark.

It is easy for us to feel inspired when looking out over the vast ocean, or delighting in a fresh slice of water melon. But is it only when basking in the flood of a magnificent sunset, or when nature cajoles us to walk beside Her and revel in Her harmonious ways, that such peace and bliss may become accessible? What when we are in the midst of a disagreement with our spouse? Or when we have shattered something sentimental and dear? When our dreams have become broken or worse still, simply faded away?

In times such as these, we don’t often notice the magic. We dismiss life’s teachings and the growth opportunities being offered.

If we are unable or unwilling to take a step back and view the bigger picture, we risk becoming misaligned, disconnected from our truth. Could a disagreement with a loved one be an assertion of our boundaries, giving voice to something that has long remained unspoken? Maybe it is our own behaviour that requires attention, and so is being brought to light for the greater good of the relationship? Did we break or lose something tangible because we have been refusing to let go of the past? Forgetting that love is not short-lived, but enduring and eternal? Maybe our unfulfilled dreams are a reminder that life is too short to squander our time feeling despondent and powerless?

Whatever the reason, these moments are here, not to cause our lives to become stagnant, blocked and miserable, but to allow us to recognise beauty when we see it, to feel elation and joy when they come to visit, to know the blessings that transcend pain, and to be grateful that we can know all of this – because had we not experienced their opposite, we could never come to know the fullness of finding such magic in the mundane.

In love and light,

Hayley xx

Forgive. And dance.


So many of us struggle to let go of grievances; she did this; he said that; she didn’t do this; he failed to say that. We hold grudges, turning a blind eye to the affects our deep-rooted resentments have on our lives and the lives of those around us. We justify our unhappiness and hold others accountable for the way we feel; if only he’d change, if only she hadn’t treated me that way, if only my circumstances were different – then my life would be so much happier. But when we view life through the lens of non-forgiveness – we give our power away. We become powerless.

Here, I tell the true story of a brave woman named Satta Joe; a story of immense courage and forgiveness. Satta lived in Sierra Leone during the civil war, a time of great upheaval and uncertainty. When the rebels attacked Satta’s village, she became the victim of gang rape. Her husband was shot dead and her seven year old son slaughtered before her very eyes. Curled up in a broken heap on the floor with her newborn child, Satta was left for dead.sattajoe

The man who had led the attack was Nyuma Saffa, a blood relative of Satta’s who had once tried to force his love upon her. Fueled by his grievance over Satta’s rejection and by his new allegiance to the rebels, he unleashed his attack upon Satta and her family.

Once the civil war had ended, the rebels returned to live in the village. Satta recalls feeling powerless: This was very hard for me, but what was I to do?  And that’s when Fambul Tok (Family Talk) arrived, a community led reconciliation program. They called for a meeting in the village and asked for those who had experienced suffering during the war to speak up. Satta bravely stepped forward and told her story. Fambul Tok then asked that Nyuma Saffa come forward to admit his crimes against Satta and her family. Finally, he confessed.

As part of the reconciliation ritual, Satta and Nyuma were asked to dance together as a way of forgiving the past. Understandably, Satta refused. She couldn’t bear the thought of holding Nyuma’s hands – the same hands that had raped her and killed her family. Though, after much encouragement – she bravely accepted. Satta states: As I took his hand I was sobbing, not out of despair but a sense of relief that perhaps now we could move on from this terrible pain in our past. I didn’t expect it, but they succeeded in making peace between us.

Satta Joe is one of many heroic people who, under horrific and seemingly unforgivable circumstances, have chosen the path of peace.

Forgiveness does not mean that what the other person did was ok. Forgiveness is choosing to shift our focus from one of pain, to peace. We forgive because we want to feel good. And holding onto resentment prevents us from feeling any peace within ourselves. It prevents us from moving forward.

If Satta Joe can forgive this man for inflicting terrible crimes against her and her family; if she can choose peace over pain and sorrow; forgiveness over bitterness and revenge – then isn’t it time we all cleared the floor and danced?

Deep Holes In The Sidewalks



Dear Dad,

Today I received a parking fine for $150. I hesitated when parking in that area, the sign was new to me and I was unclear of its meaning. I ignored the feeling of hesitancy I felt when exiting my vehicle. I was gone from my car for less than 10 minutes, and returned to find the parking ticket waving at me from my windscreen. My heart sank. It was the most expensive avocado and banana I’d ever bought. Normally in this situation, I would feel the anger rising. Thoughts of ‘Why me?’ surfacing. …but not this time. For I have been here before. The victim. The blamer. I know why I received this ticket.

Just the night before I had found myself in a familiar hole. Money worries, feelings of lack when I discovered that my work hours had been reduced from four days a week to just two. We haven’t had as many schools book our programs next term and I’d felt a worry over the drop in income. Scarcity thoughts crept in and I reacted from a place of low vibration, arguing with my partner and succumbing to the ego in me. My parking ticket was a confirmation of my scarcity thinking, mirroring back to me my false feelings of ‘lack.’

Looking down at my ticket, I sighed and resolved to step out of my familiar hole. Crying over it would only exasperate my situation, bring about more of the same circumstances.

Father, thank you for the sign. For the reminder to walk a different path. I am grateful for the extra time to myself next term, for the extra days you have provided so that I may attend to a project dear to my heart. The freedom from lesson planning is something to be thankful for as I throw myself into other avenues with great passion. And of course, two days of work are always better than none.

Love  always,

Hayley xx


Dear Child,

Sometimes situations will arrive at your door in unforeseen and distressing ways. You may feel as though the world is against you, that life is unfair and this shouldn’t be happening. In each heartache there lies an opportunity for spiritual growth. Are you prolonging unhealthy habits that are holding you back on your path to freedom? How about stagnant thought patterns that are creating equally stagnant circumstances? Is there an element of your own undoing that you have been refusing to see? Blame, excuses, feeling angry and victimised…we’ve all been there. But those feelings no longer serve us.  Nor does the outward search for refuge and answers. The answers lie here within. Be still.

Let us open our eyes and our hearts so that we may hear the answers to our prayers – for the solution to all sorrow lies in communion with the soul, with God. Instead of proclaiming ‘This isn’t fair!’ – may we have the strength to ask, ‘How may I grow from this? How may I serve?’

There are no accidents in this world. The world is ever changing, ever evolving, all knowing and divinely timed. When you accept that this is so, when you trust in life and trust that life is preparing you for your purpose – you can smile in the face of life’s hurdles, for they are your greatest teachers. Be safe in the knowledge, that in time – all will be well.

In love and light,

Your Father.

If you too have found yourself stuck in a hole, may Portia Nelson’s Poem – There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk, bring comfort as she reminds us that it is we who hold the key to end all suffering.

There’s A Hole In My Sidewalk

Chapter One
I walk down the street,
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk,
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless,
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find my way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the street,
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk,
I pretend that I don’t see it.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street,
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit …but,
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter Five
I walk down another street.

by Portia Nelson.

Let us be kind to ourselves as we navigate life’s sidewalks, may we pick ourselves up out of those deep holes, and choose another path.

The Red Door

red door

We are sitting on the living room floor at number five Acresfield Road, my sister and I. I am five years old, Sarah is seven. Our eyes are glued to the eighties television set as we watch cartoons in our faded living room. Everything appeared to be brown back then; brown carpets, brown wall paper, brown television – a sepia stained era of times passed. Mum is at work earning her small income to keep us clothed and fed. During these times, Dad would take care of us. I never questioned why Mum worked and Dad stayed home, I guess I was too young to notice or to care. All I knew was that Dad took care of us after Gran dropped us home from school.

This particular day is to be one of my earliest memories, and it is one that will become etched into my existence, like a stray strand of hair which has embedded itself into my clothing, clinging on no matter how hard I try to shake it off. At most it simply shifts – falling to rest unnoticed on another part of me.

Dad appears in the doorway to our left, which leads into the kitchen. He is pacing back and forth, in and out of the living room, his face one of concern and panic. Fear transcends into my little body. I don’t know why Dad looks so frightened, all I know is that now I am frightened too. Dad’s right wrist is shaking and he grips it with his other hand in a bid to control the tremor. I stand, panicked. Dad tells us to, “Go away – leave!” We stare in horror and I begin to cry as Sarah grabs my hand, pulling me towards the other exit at the front of the house.

Dad disappears into the kitchen as Sarah drags me through the front door. Dad must have opened the back door because the moment we step outside the force of the wind courses through our home, slamming the front door tight with a deafening BANG. My heart stops in my chest. I turn to face the giant red door glaring back at me. The brass number five screwed to the top center of the door peers down at me as though mocking my age. “Five. Hah! What can you do?” The brass letter box sneers at me –  its gold teeth grinning with delight after swallowing my Dad up inside. My heart leaps back into action and I pound my small fists against the hard surface of the glowing red monster. I lift the brass letter box and cry out to my Dad, my voice trembling with fear and frustration, echoing deep into the belly of the house.

In later years, I told Sarah of this haunting memory, assuming that she would have her own version of events surrounding that moment – her own ingrained grievances, which I assumed would differ somewhat to mine. Yet, she told of how she stood waiting for our elderly neighbours, Ernie and Gladys, to answer the door, of how she remembers clearly watching as I repeatedly thumped at the door in a panic.

I don’t remember how I came to be standing in Ernie and Gladys’ back garden – the next thing I recall is watching in despair as Dad face planted into the concrete path of our own back garden – all six foot two inches of him. I remember how he fell without putting his hands out to break his fall. And that is where the memory ends.

It is one of my earliest memories, it is also when I learned of epilepsy; my first real encounter with fear, and my first recognition that Dad wasn’t safe.


I often hear that the opposite to fear is love – that love transcends all fear. I have also learned of the importance in letting go. For some it is a ritual, for others it is prayer – for me, it is through the process of writing. Once it is recognised, it can be turned over to the angels, to God, to Source or The Divine – however you wish to refer to Higher Guidance – for healing.

With every heart ache comes a lesson. Once we recognise the lessons, each one becomes easier to release. Those stray strands which weave their way into the fabric of our lives are freed by the winds of change and lifted towards the heavens.

As I look back on this memory, in the words of Dr. Wayne Dyer ‘I can see clearly’ the way it has shaped and contributed to habitual fears in my life – fears which I am beginning to notice have held me back on this spiritual path – fears which I am ready and willing to let go of. I notice the walls I have built between myself and that which I love; passions as well as people. The way I have refrained from loving the men in my life too much. A fear of losing them? A fear of being vulnerable? I am not sure. All I know is that I have been known to freeze up when becoming too close threatens my sense of security. It’s as though that big red door is standing between them and I – preventing me from fully accessing my loved ones, as well as accessing those passions which bring me the greatest sense of freedom and joy. It also occurs to me that red is one of my least favourite colours (and there I was convincing myself that it’s because I support Manchester City, not Manchester United!)

I have walked passed that house many a times. It is one of the many houses we lived in growing up. The door is no longer red, it has been replaced by a newer door with a stained wood finish.  Its size is no longer so large and looming, since I have grown some extra inches over the years. That big red door has been torn down, its existence is no more. I have no reason to hold on to its memory, no reason to fear it. I send that door love. I send epilepsy love. I send my Dad love. And most importantly, I send my five-year-old self love. There is nothing to fear anymore.