Transformation Is Often Hard

Transformation is hard
Transformation isn’t always a walk in the park. In fact, it’s often a hike up a rocky cliff – sometimes we stumble and find ourselves stuck in a deep, dark crevice.

Just two days from reaching the finish line of sober October, I woke with a hangover from hell. Immediately, I began to criticise, self-punish and drag myself through the mud: “Failure… Did you actually think you could remain sober? When will you ever learn? Clearly you’re not capable of breaking this repetitive cycle…”

And then I remembered, transformation is about progress, not perfection. As I allowed myself to be held and supported, I thought of the advice I would offer a friend or loved one in the same position: Be gentle on yourself. Too often we speak to ourselves in harsh, reprimanding tones – rejecting a part of ourselves as ‘not good enough’, when in fact, we are perfectly imperfect just the way we are. Transformation takes time.

Today, be gentle on yourself. Embrace the messy moments along with the magical ones, for they all form part of your growth and expansion. Trust that from the darkness, a beautiful butterfly is emerging. The journey may be slow, but it is one worth taking.

The road ahead is clear and free. I give myself permission to move out of the past with gratitude and into a joyous new day.’

– Louise L Hay

In love & light,

Hayley xx

A New Day

finish each day (1)

We each have moments where our words and actions fall short of our truest self. Habitual responses and behaviours can cause us to speak or act unconsciously. A situation or comment may trigger a past pain or trauma resulting in a fight, flight or freeze response. Life would be much easier if we could operate from our highest self all of the time, but life is rarely that simple. We can, however, learn to love and accept our blunders for what they are – lessons which point the way forward.

Our setbacks are there to teach us. Do you have unhealed hurts requiring your attention? Is there someone you have yet to forgive? Remember, that person needing your forgiveness may even be you.

Many of us become entangled in self-sabotaging behaviours. But it’s no use beating ourselves up over them. Instead, be gentle with yourself. Recognise what your outer world is trying to teach you about your inner world. Do you feel yourself worthy enough of happiness and fulfilment? Do you recognise that you are loved, loving and lovable even with your flaws and imperfections? Do you believe in yourself enough to make the changes necessary for growth and expansion?

You needn’t dwell on these matters for too long. Simply become aware of them. Then let them go. Move on. As Emerson reminds us, ‘tomorrow is a new day.’ Today, let’s leave the past firmly behind us so we can look to the present moment for creative solutions.

In love & light,

Hayley xx

Untangled

one can never change the past

You are not your past. Although it can sometimes feel that way. We hear a certain song play on the radio; an innocent comment triggers something within us; we pass a familiar street and are suddenly transported back – but those spots in time are mere memories of seasons passed. They do not define us.

Once we become aware of our past hurts and disappointments, we can better prepare for those moments that provoke feelings of vulnerability and self-doubt. Sit with those feelings for a while. Recognise them for what they are, and then let them go. We can’t undo what has already been done. The past cannot be re-written, but we can untangle ourselves from the spell it holds over us. We can re-write our future.

Do not live a life of regrets. In every heartache there is a lesson. With every dashed dream a new one is waiting just around the corner. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself and others. It is time to set yourself free. For ‘one can never change the past, only the hold it has on you.’ Today, live for the moment.

In love & light,

Hayley xx

 

Beyond The Ego

authentic-self

Ahh the ego. We all have one. That shadow side in each of us which grasps, blames, condemns, judges, offends, defends, competes, sabotages, attacks and punishes. And whilst we’d all love to be egoless beings, part of the human experience consists of the contrast between our light and shade. Some days we are triggered, our ego is revealed, and there is little we can do to avoid this. At best we can breathe, notice, and learn to respond rather than react. It’s not our job to judge or condemn the behaviour of others, nor should we criticise our own momentary descents into the ego.

At a soul level, we are all equally loveable, perfect, whole and complete.

Beyond our egos, we each possess within us a light of awareness; our authentic Self. Our soul. That peaceful part of us that forgives, loves, accepts, understands, inspires, compliments, encourages, nurtures, perseveres, expands and seeks the Truth. We must look beyond our character flaws and discover the perfect soul within. Our aim is to reach a stage where we can say to one another: ‘The soul in me sees the soul in you.’ – regardless of how much pain and suffering has been caused. That is how we forgive – that is how we love; ourselves as well as others.

Today, be unafraid to show that tender side of you. The side of you who is loving and accepting of another’s flaws. For in doing so, we accept our own.

Let us not forget that ‘the authentic self is the soul made visible.’

In love & light,

Hayley xx

Let There Be Love

love-knows-not-its-own-depths

As we approach the close of 2016, we reach a stage when self-reflection is inevitable, especially if we are to live a life of purpose and peaceful fulfillment.  And we can start with the essential vibe of love.

Have we loved enough; ourselves as well as others? Who have we taken for granted? Are there any unhealed hurts left unresolved? Is there someone we have neglected or forgotten to express our love and appreciation for? Let us not be idle in thinking that they already know.

When I lost my Dad without warning, there were a million things left unsaid. Expressions of love and gratitude I assumed he knew and never had the chance to say to him. Don’t let yourself be that person who only knows the depth of your love at the hour of separation.

Here’s my wish for myself and you in 2017… Let us express more love; may we appreciate those we often take for granted; let us forgive easily and love passionately; may we live a life free from regrets; may love flow easily and often.

In love and light,

Hayley xx