The Three Grand Essentials To Happiness

essentials to happiness

Happiness is a state of mind; a state which can shift from pure contentment to complete dissatisfaction in any given moment. This change in perspective can be triggered by a number of outside circumstances seemingly out of our control; unexpected news, the loss of something dear, an ill-mannered interaction with a stranger…

At times our discomfort is prolonged and happiness can feel like a distant memory. I remember the overwhelming feeling of complete sorrow in the long months that followed my Dad’s death. I was a sinking ship. Afraid of marring others with my grief, I’d hide my devastation beneath a brave face, but on the inside I was an empty vessel lost at sea. If I knew then what I know now, I would advise my nineteen-year-old self to honour her feelings; to be unafraid of reaching out and asking for help.

If you are feeling bereft, try not to stuff down your emotions. Be kind to yourself and trust that this feeling will pass. It may not go away entirely, but as sure as the tides ebb and flow, so will your state of happiness. Nothing in life is constant. As rocky as the oceans may seem, the tides will settle in time. So don’t lose heart. It’s not your job to control the weather – life is unpredictable. But we can learn to navigate the storms, we can learn to stay afloat instead of drowning.

We can begin with the three essentials to happiness.

Something to do:

This could be as simple as petting your dog; making a start on a long neglected project or planting some vegetables to harvest in winter. Participating in life brings us back to the only moment we have – NOW. It is now that we are free from the binds of the past and worries about the future. For me, writing, walking in nature, and belly laughing with loved ones always brings me back to a state of gratitude for the moment I’m in.

Something to love:

At our core, we are pure, unbounded love. Therefore, not to love is a slow death to the soul. Yet many of us forget that we cannot give away what we don’t have. Love begins first with oneself. Not in a conceited self-righteous way, but in a way that is non-judgemental and self-accepting. When we truly love ourselves, we are able love others unconditionally. Make a promise each day to look in the mirror and say with deep compassion: “I love you.” Watch how that love flows outward to others.

Something to hope for:

Studies have shown that those who practice optimism and gratitude live longer, healthier lives. Hopeful individuals repeatedly show reduced levels of stress, anxiety and depression. Hope instills a sense of faith that everything will work out for our highest good. You don’t have to be religious to have faith in a higher power. You can have faith in yourself; faith in a loving Universe, faith in others, faith in a non-denominational Divine guidance. In short, faith and hope free us from the shackles of limiting beliefs, bringing a sense of peace to even the darkest of days.

Today, take the time to do something you love. Reflect and give thanks for this moment. Trust that everything is precisely as it is meant to be, and keep the faith.

In love & light,

Hayley xx

Sacred Energy

protect your energy
Empaths are highly sensitive beings who can sense another’s pain and feel it as their own. You’ll know if you are an empath because you tend to see the best in others and their hidden potential. You are trusting and optimistic which can sometimes lead to others taking advantage of your kindness for their own gain. Empath’s struggle to see anyone suffer and will go above and beyond to ease the pain of others. Your optimism and desire to heal often exposes you to a number of harsh, toxic energies in your bid to make others feel better. The problem with this is it can leave you feeling depleted and drained.

Yes, it is ok to be giving, gentle and kind. But it is not ok to be taken advantage of. How is anyone supposed to take responsibility for their lives if you continue to make excuses for their behavior? And how are you to ever feel vibrant and healthy if you are allowing others to continue to draw from your energy reserves without reciprocation?

If you have found yourself in a situation where you are constantly giving with very little in return, if you are often placing another’s happiness before you own – then it is very possible that you have found yourself in a toxic situation and are experiencing energy imbalance.

Be wise and know that you cannot help everyone. Become attuned to those who take without giving in return. Be willing to set healthy boundaries and strong enough to walk away from those who do not have your best interest at heart.

In love and light,

Hayley xx

 

Soulful Sunday #26: Be You

be the type of person

Welcome to my twenty-sixth instalment of ‘Soulful Sundays’. A weekly share where I post a roundup of soulful reflections, each including recipes, songs, quotes, blogs I have read and/or any other inspirational discoveries to sooth the soul.

For me, Sunday’s have become a day of quiet contemplation and simple pleasures. A time to reflect on the week gone by and to consider my hopes and dreams for the week ahead.

My hope is to extend some love outward and to share some simple pleasures with anyone who cares to receive them.

Soul Reflections

When I contemplate the friendships I have remained closest to over the years, the ones that have been a constant presence in my life – I have discovered they each possess a quality rarely found in everyone we meet. Besides love and trust, what is the special glue that binds two souls together?  The vital ingredient that allows you to feel at ease in another’s company? Acceptance. Acceptance says; “It is safe for you to be vulnerable in my presence. It is safe for you to be you.”

Those friendships of mine have stood the test of time because they have accepted me for who I am, nothing more and nothing less. Nothing is expected of me, and nothing is taken for granted. Their only wish is that I be myself, in all my wonky glory. We have laughed together until our bellies hurt and our eyebrows feel like they’re about to merge into our hairlines! We have cried rivers of tears in front of each other, have listened without judgement to one another’s deepest despairs, and have shared our most personal dreams and wishes. Our love, trust and acceptance afforded us the ability to say: “Your heart is safe with me.”

Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful and magical person that you are.

– Mandy Hale

We each have our irks and quirks. That is what makes life so colourful. It’s what prevents life from becoming too uniformed, too grey, too dull. So what if your ears stick out, if your bum jiggles when you walk or you snort like a pig when you laugh?! Life is tough enough without having to conform to the ideals of how others say we should be, think, speak and act. Go easy on yourself. Allow yourself the freedom to be you. As long as you aren’t causing hurt or upset to anyone; be the unapologetic, unequivocally amazing person that you are!

Soul Strolls

Since moving house, I am truly missing having a good park in walking distance to where I live. I have taken to the neighbourhood and have been walking up and down the quieter streets, and today I went in search of a local park. I found one about 25 minutes from my house, which was mostly a cemetery beside an oval. Within moments, a man in his fifties asked me if I’d go on a date with him! Taken aback, I told him I already have a boyfriend, to which he replied “I’ll kiss you!” I left promptly afterwards. The search for a good park continues! hehe I did manage to capture this pretty wee thing on the way home!

DSC_0049

Soul Food

I have been under the weather for the best part of two weeks. What started as a sore throat soon escalated into a chest infection when I refused to listen to my body and continued to work despite needing obvious rest! My friend and fellow blogger Miriam who blogs at Out an’ About suggested I eat bone broth! Thankfully, I’m already on the mend – but next time I am ill I will be sure to try one. I managed to find a good bone broth recipe on my favourite health and wellness websites here. (Just in case you get a case of the sniffles!)

bone broth

Soul Music

I would like to share So True by The Black Seeds today. It’s a lovely track which shows that when we are true, and trust in others, we get and give the best of ourselves.


Soul Sisters

Today, I am sharing a post titled ‘Change Your Attitude’ by Bernice at SpiritualJourney17. It reminds me of a lesson I taught to my children about replacing the ANTS (Automatic Negaive Talk) in our heads with PETS (Positive Eotional Talk). Head over for a read!

Wishing you a Sunday where you are free to be you, in all of your wonky glory!

In love & light,

Hayley xx

Alone Time

alone time

Just as time spent with friends and loved ones is essential for a happy existence, so is time spent alone.

Honouring our alone time is essential for balance and renewal. During these stolen moments of solitude we reconnect with ourselves; our deepest dreams, wishes, hopes and desires. Taking a break from the world doesn’t mean that we care any less for our friends and family, it simply means that we love them enough to take care of ourselves first. We cannot give away what we don’t have. If we are depleted, out of touch with ourselves, tired and run down – how can we give the best of ourselves to others?

Today, take a guilt free moment of peace.

‘Compassion is not complete if it does not include oneself.’
– Allan Lokos.

Know that in serving you first, you can better serve the world. When you take the time to connect with who you are; your truest, essential nature – the love and compassion your show for yourself will ultimately bless those you come into contact with. 

In love & light,

Hayley xx

 

Self-care Is Essential.

self-care
It can be difficult to say ‘no’ at times, but learning to nourish and replenish yourself can be the difference between giving others the best of you as opposed to the rest of you. If we don’t take time to rejuvenate from time to time, we will have nothing left to offer. We cannot give from an empty cup. Today I am bringing you a gentle reminder to show yourself some self-care and compassion. If your well has run dry, now is the time to fill it. It isn’t selfish, it is essential. 

You may want to run yourself a hot bath with some scented oils and candles, or give yourself permission to put your feet up and read a great book. Why not watch your favourite comedy in your pyjamas and give yourself the gift of laughter? Go for a sunset stroll and breathe some fresh air into your lungs – nature has healing qualities. Maybe you could cook a delicious dinner and pour yourself a glass of wine or a hot mug of tea? Whatever you decide to do, know that when you listen to your body’s needs and treat yourself with love and kindness, you will have much more to give. You are no use to anyone stressed, tired and grumpy.

Today, say ‘yes’ to you. Fill your cup first so it can over-spill and flow to others. Your friends and family will thank you for it.

In love and light,

Hayley xx

Untangled

one can never change the past

You are not your past. Although it can sometimes feel that way. We hear a certain song play on the radio; an innocent comment triggers something within us; we pass a familiar street and are suddenly transported back – but those spots in time are mere memories of seasons passed. They do not define us.

Once we become aware of our past hurts and disappointments, we can better prepare for those moments that provoke feelings of vulnerability and self-doubt. Sit with those feelings for a while. Recognise them for what they are, and then let them go. We can’t undo what has already been done. The past cannot be re-written, but we can untangle ourselves from the spell it holds over us. We can re-write our future.

Do not live a life of regrets. In every heartache there is a lesson. With every dashed dream a new one is waiting just around the corner. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself and others. It is time to set yourself free. For ‘one can never change the past, only the hold it has on you.’ Today, live for the moment.

In love & light,

Hayley xx

 

Spread The Love

love

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentines Day beautiful people. For some, Valentines Day has become too commercialised. Personally, I believe that any day we are reminded to show more love is a welcome opportunity to express our essential nature. Arguably, we can show love any day of the year. However, I am all for romancing and dedicating a day solely to LOVE.

And let us not forget to show some love to the most important person in our lives, ourself. Because yes! We deserve to show ourselves some love too.

So I hope you manage to ‘spread LOVE everywhere you go [and] let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.’ Today, and always.

In love & light,

Hayley xx