I am slowly beginning to accept the folds and creases as a normal part of motherhood; whoever says parenting is easy is bullshitting you. Motherhood is magical, but it’s also DEMANDING.
There are days I’m lucky to take a shower before midday, brush my hair or take a pee. Eating is limited to fruit and toast, and I’m often seen sporting two round wet patches where my milk has leaked through my nipple pads. Leaving the house looking like a scarecrow no longer bothers me – I couldn’t give two shits because I’m just grateful I left the house!
I’m in awe of mums who manage to look presentable and hold their shit together, I’m wondering when that day will arrive for me? But I’m also secretly wondering what’s really beneath the Mummy mask… because surely I’m not alone in this?
Today, let us acknowledge our deep, unwavering, profoundly passionate love for our children, but let us also acknowledge the grit it takes to live with the folds and the creases.
This squishy face makes all the sleepless nights worthwhile…
As a Mummy who’s nursing a growing baby boy, I see firsthand how constant feeding rapidly increases growth. The same is true of our troubles – the more we feed them, the bigger they grow. ‘Energy flows where attention goes.’ – Michael Beckwith
The more attention we pay to our problems, the bigger our problems become.
This week, as our little one heads into his first growth spurt, we’ve been faced with the challenge of an unsettled baby each night.
In life, and as parents, it’s important to avoid getting too hung up on our troubles and to try to adopt a solution focussed mindset. Even the simple act of ‘letting go’ is far more freeing than trying to ‘fix’ everything and everyone.
Parenting is demanding business and the more we can pull together as a team the more energy we have to share our love and joy with one another.
Difficulties in life are inevitable. If we can learn to welcome adversity, we can trust in our learning and growth.
Today, when faced with a challenging situation, remember: It’s not the problem that’s the problem, but your response and attitude towards the problem.
Nobody said breastfeeding would be easy… So far my baby and I have experienced the initial breaking in period of cracked nipples, early onset of mastitis, and we are currently navigating an overactive let down which means I drown my son in milk each time we feed! Queue choking, frustrated baby who chomps down on my breasts to slow the flow…
There are times when I feel like giving up, but I know this breastfeeding journey will get easier with time. It’s worth me persevering to provide the best nourishment for my child.
‘Breastfeeding is a Mother’s gift to herself, her baby and the earth’ – Pamela K. Wiggins.
In some ways, breastfeeding prepares us for Motherhood. It is to place another’s needs before our own.
I understand breastfeeding isn’t for everyone, and I have no judgement towards women who choose alternative ways to feed their baby. As a bottle fed baby myself, I respect every woman’s decision as a choice.
For me, that choice has been to nourish my child with what Mother Nature provided. Not simply ‘because it’s free’ (…anyone who says that clearly doesn’t know the time and effort that goes into breastfeeding!) I choose the breast because this is the food that was intended for my baby to help him grow and thrive.
What sacrifices/difficulties/adversities have you experienced on your baby feeding journey? Did you reach a point when it all began to get a little easier?
(One curious breastfeeding Mumma)
Raising children isn’t easy – it brings a whole new dynamic to your relationship. As much as we love our little ones, there’s no doubt that when a baby arrives there are parts of your old self and your old relationship you will grieve; the freedom, the spontaneity, the flexibility, the long lazy lay ins together, uninterrupted dinners…
Despite the changes children inevitably bring, the success of your relationship will come down to how committed you are at ‘working together.’
Last night, after a four hour tag team struggle to wind our little one down for his bed time routine, I sobbed into my cold dinner.
Thankfully, my man was there for me reminding me that I’m doing a great job and the best I can.
Who do you have working together with you? Raising little ones requires us to work as a team. If you don’t have your partner around, assemble your team of friends, family, neighbors.
You needn’t do this alone.
But for those of you who ARE working together as a couple, remember that it is precisely this ‘working together’ that will lead to the ongoing success of your relationship and your growing family.
What are your top tips for ‘working together’ for a successful parenting relationship?
‘Baby blues, baby blues, all caught up in those baby blues.’ – The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band
This has been my song for the last three days. At first I thought there was something wrong with me. How can I feel so joyful yet so sad at the same time?
Bursting into tears for no apparent reason whilst my heart simultaneously swells with love for this little soul we’ve created is an overwhelming cocktail of emotions.
And then I heard of ‘the baby blues.’ 80% of women will experience the baby blues and it usually passes within 2 to 3 days.
However, if you find you are feeling teary, anxious, and irritable with moods that are up and down for longer than two weeks, reach out for support from friends and family, as well as professionals as you may be experiencing early signs of post natal depression.
Remember to be gentle on yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Giving birth is a huge undertaking on a woman’s body and emotions and now is not the time to berate yourself. You are doing the best you can.
Bad days don’t make you a bad mum, they simply remind you that you are human; not superwoman.
Trust that like anything, in time, it will pass. You’ve got this Mumma!