Soulful Sunday #47: Inevitable Disagreements

Welcome to my forty-seventh instalment of ‘Soulful Sundays’. A weekly share where I post a
roundup of soulful reflections, each including recipes, songs, quotes, blogs I have read and/or any other inspirational discoveries to sooth the soul.

For me, Sunday’s have become a day of quiet contemplation and simple pleasures. A time to reflect on the week gone by and to consider my hopes and dreams for the week ahead.

My hope is to extend some love outward and to share some simple pleasures with anyone who cares to receive them.

Soul Reflections

I have long held the opinion that arguments are unavoidable. Those who claim ‘Oh we never argue!’ I suspect to be dishonest or slightly delusional. Healthy relationships are not about NEVER disagreeing, but more about HOW we disagree.

How would we ever learn, grow and expand our world if we all just agreed? Besides, life would be very boring and monotonous.

The more we are able to engage in enthusiastic disagreement with each other, the more we will be able to uncover the best in ourselves and each other. – Karen Kimsey-House

Whilst disagreements aren’t avoidable, there ARE healthy and unhealthy ways to argue. I resonate with this quote by Dave Willis:

In marriage disagreements are inevitable but disrespect is a choice.

I believe this to be true in any relationship, be it with a partner, parent, sibling, friend or complete stranger. Maintaining respect for another during conflict eases our ability to heal and find harmony afterwards. On the other hand, disrespect, especially when repeated, often leads to irreparable suffering and resentment.

The key to finding unity is forgiveness, and it is far easier to forgive when a high degree of dignity is maintained during disagreements than if we say or do something we may later regret.

Next time you are triggered in the thick of conflict, before you hurl insults, or cause verbal or even physical harm to another, remember the severity of suffering this one senseless act can cause. Vow instead to view any disagreement as an opportunity to grow, to learn more about yourself, your strengths, your weaknesses, and those of another.

This is how we stand united in our division.

Soul Strolls

My partner and I finally managed to get away camping this weekend. We visited Yanakee near Wilson’s Prom, a beautiful campsite close to the waters edge.

Like with any relationship, there were moments of discord coupled with moments of pure surrender and softness. I wouldn’t trade any of the more challenging moments during our trip, because they each taught me something about myself and my man. And, yes! whilst there were moments we wanted to tear each other’s hair out, at the end of our trip we stood united, smiling and holding one another in earnest.

In my life, I have experienced deep levels of disrespect. I have felt firsthand suffering and pain as a result. Today, I stand tall in forgiveness. I am grateful for every experience so far, for they each taught me new levels of being and living in this world.

Yanakee, Melbourne

Like this colourful ocean before me, there are moments of unrest and moments of calm – but deep down at it’s very core, all is perfect, pure and still.

Soul Food

Soul food this weekend was camp food! I created these little Parma Cups based on an Aussie fave, Parmigiana. All the yumminess of a traditional Parmi placed into little puff pastry cups. Perfect for an Aussie camping trip.

Soul Music

Waking up surrounded by nature certainly created for a ‘dreamy Sunday morning’. So I am sharing Clouds by Hugo Kant so that you too may experience dreaminess, wherever you may be.

Soul Sisters

Today I am sharing Bernice’s post, Your Eyes Are The Mirror To Your Soul. A beautiful reminder that respect includes oneself. Head on over for some beautiful affirmative statements that embody all that you are through the power of mirror work and self-love!

Wishing you all a dreamy Sunday.

Love always,

Hayley xx

Spread The Love

I hope you all had a wonderful Valentines Day beautiful people. For some, Valentines Day has become too commercialised. Personally, I believe that any day we are reminded to show more love is a welcome opportunity to express our essential nature. Arguably, we can show love any day of the year. However, I am all for romancing and dedicating a day solely to LOVE.

And let us not forget to show some love to the most important person in our lives, ourself. Because yes! We deserve to show ourselves some love too.

So I hope you manage to ‘spread LOVE everywhere you go [and] let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.’ Today, and always.

In love & light,

Hayley xx

Progress Not Perfection

Perfectionism. We’ve all been there. Striving for an elusive paradigm that, thankfully, does not exist.

One of the best pieces of advice I was ever given was: Progress, not perfection. As a child who was so preoccupied with the neatness of her handwriting and the symmetry of her drawings that she rarely completed a piece of work; and as young woman who would shovel an entire 500ml tub of cookie and cream Hagan Daaz into her gob because she’d succumbed to a biscuit that day at work; this simple revelation truly set me free.

No longer do I beat myself up for ‘falling off the bandwagon’. Nor do I spiral out of control if I step one foot away from my (sometimes ridiculously high) standards.  And yes – I now complete work that before, I was too afraid to even begin.  I hit ‘publish’ on posts that are far from perfect and most likely have typos and incorrect grammar! But who’s judging? I finally realised that my biggest judge had always been me. That I was my biggest critic. No-one else. Me. Once I realised this, I could relax. Breathe. I could simply allow myself to be. To be unapologetically me, with all of my flaws and imperfections.

It feels good to have cracks, to have flaws, to be human just like everybody else. Because as Leonardo Cohen reminds us:

There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.

-Leonardo Cohen

Progress, not perfection. As long as we are making progress, learning from our mistakes, remembering to be kind towards ourselves and others whenever those blessed mistakes do appear; then I promise you – those cracks will allow the light to flood your very essence with love and acceptance for all, including yourself.

In love and light,

Hayley xx