Fancy a Brew?

Writing 101, Day 11: Update your readers over a cup of coffee

If we were having coffee right now, my heart would be racing. And as my body trembles and shakes, my hands would become clammy and my temperature would soar. You may wonder why I have come over all funny in your presence – it’s not you, well, not entirely – it’s just my extreme sensitivity to caffeine.

If we were having coffee right now, depending on how comfortable I feel in your presence, I will either endure my heart spasm inducing coffee blend fix and hope that you don’t notice; or blurt out how totally off my chops that cup of coffee just made me feel! (Then order a hot chocolate or a herbal tea instead.)

If we were having coffee right now, it is because you are an open and honest soul, who isn’t afraid to expose your inner weirdness. You are a good talker as well as a good listener, and you refrain from judgment or rudeness to others. If you are shallow, narrow minded, self absorbed or materialistic, then we wouldn’t be having coffee right now.

If we were having coffee right now, I would ask you what you’d like to drink and insist that I pay. If you object, I will say you can pay next time (and the next time we meet, I will finally allow you to pay after putting up a good fight!)

If we were having coffee right now, you would be laughing at my lack of coffee knowledge as I proceed to order you a ‘mo-CHA’, instead of the correct pronunciation of ‘mocka!’ (yes – this actually happened.) If we were having coffee right now, the geek within me would say or do something ridiculous before you leave my company. There is no point in my attempting to avoid this – in doing so, I shall do nothing BUT make a fool of myself in my endeavors to come across as ‘normal’. So I decide to just run with my weirdness and stick some marshmallows up my nose instead.

If we were having coffee right now, I would ask you how you are. I will be ready to listen to all of your joys and all of your troubles with sincerity. If you are excited, I will be excited with you! If you are feeling woeful or confused, I will refrain from interrupting you so that you may arrive at your own conclusion. Once you have finished talking, I will offer you some gentle and honest advice that does not persuade or influence your decision. I will encourage you to listen to your own inner compass; to your heart, and advise you to follow the path which brings you the most peace.

If we were having coffee right now, you will ask how I am in return. I will freeze a little inside, not wanting to burden you with my demons, and tell you ‘I’m fine.’ I may go as far as admitting how overwhelmed I feel with my fast approaching emigration, before changing the subject to more light-hearted matters. It is not that I don’t trust you or that I am secretive, I just have a genuine problem off loading onto others. If we were having coffee right now, the last thing I’d want to do is mar you with my psychic debris – and besides, this woven web is mine to untangle.

If we were having coffee right now, we would look at the clock with genuine surprise and wonder how time got away from us. Neither you, nor I, would be in a hurry to leave, however, we’d both feel conscious of taking up too much of each others time. If we were having coffee right now, we would say ‘we should do this again.’ And we will.

If we were having coffee right now, we would hug as we say our goodbyes. Afterwards, I’d say something daft to make you laugh and send you on your way with a smile.

And as I part your company, I too would smile, and with a sigh I’d walk on, taking with me the weight of the world on my shoulders.